Trip 1, The Novel

Hello and sorry this is delayed in getting posted! I wish I could have shared sooner, but we basically had no internet connection while on our speedy trip. So here is all the details I wrote while away...hope you have time for the 'novel' :)

Nov 10th
Hello from Russia! So we made it through our two days of flights and layovers and even arrived with all our luggage! The flying was hard on us – hard to sleep on cramped planes, then we would sleep an hour and land, spend some time wandering through airports looking for a place to sleep (usually to no avail), etc. By the time we made it to our last two flights we were so exhausted it was now easy to sleep on the planes!

Along the way we had about a 10 hour layover in Amsterdam so Aaron and I hopped onto a train to go into the city and then went for a one hour boat tour. It was really nice, beautiful buildings, much more peaceful than being on the windy street – but so relaxing, and combined with our flights, Aaron could hardly stay awake. Most everyone seemed to speak English which was great, and the accents gave Aaron a sense of feeling ‘home’. I’m sure the ample supply of ‘droppies’ (a salty black licorice type of Dutch candy) helped!

We arrived in Ufa around noon Nov 9th and were greeting by our facilitator and translator. Immediately we headed to the Ministry of Education and officially received the referrals for the boys and therefore permission to visit them at the orphanage. Next we hopped back in the car and two hours later arrived in Sterlitamak. I will never again complain about how bumpy a Canadian road may be – the drive was a constant bump, it was truly unbelievable. We had a short stop at our hosts to unload our luggage and then were headed to the orphanage. We were shown into the music room, which is large and open, and then in came the boys. It is hard to even remember that evening we were so tired. The baby was very scared and cried almost non-stop – which didn’t bother me in that it is good for him to be scared of strangers at his age (just over a year). He is darling though and I wished I could comfort him. The other two boys are quite social and were happy to play with us and the toys we had brought. After a while our facilitator took the baby back to the caregivers and even though we could have stayed longer with the older two, we decided to leave because we were about to fall asleep on our feet. We got back to our host’s at around 5:30pm and immediately went to bed for the rest of the night, too tired to even eat.

Front of Orphanage

Being here has been extremely hard on our bodies. Even though we sleep reasonably well at night until around 4:30am, we are still very tired all the time and nap at every chance we get… not that there has even been much of a chance for that between meeting with doctors, notaries, and other officials. It is frustrating too that we feel this way, but understandable I guess in that we have undergone a 12 hour time change. I really though had no idea that it would be so hard. I’ve had our facilitator ask a couple times if I was alright or sad, when all it is is that I’m simply tired. It has actually done quite a number on my appetite too. I often feel a little nauseous, and even when I am hungry I eat a little and then often immediately feel nauseous again, which makes me lose my appetite even more.

Sterlitamak is a city that is approximately the size of Grande Prairie, but that is about its only similarity. It is FILLED with apartments. Many have stores on the bottom floor and then apartments on top. We really have not seen a single house. Most of them look very old and run down from the outside, but from what we have seen the insides look much better and have been up-kept. All the apartments have balconies that are completely closed in by windows. They are also all heated by hot-water radiators with no thermostats (if it gets too hot you just open a window) and Aaron and I have found it very hot in almost every building we have been in. We can’t imagine how we’d manage in summer months! Also, I’ve never seen so many tiny cars. We see a few vans and buses, but not a single pick-up. The driving is pretty crazy by our standards too, very fast and stop-go, and not pedestrian friendly. The ten minute drive to/from the orphanage is enough to leave us both feeling carsick. The weather though here is exactly what it is back home.

The orphanage is also not what I expected. Again, the outside of the building looks very run-down, but inside is very nice. There are approximately 70 children (I believe age 5 and down), but only about 12 that are currently ‘adoptable’. The children appear to be cared for very well. They have two doctors on staff, one for the older children and one for the toddlers and babies. Each year the children also under-go a very extensive check-up by many different specialists too. This is done for many reasons, one of which is to help parents feel comfortable with knowing their medical history and adopting them. The children also have music lessons, speech lessons, etc right in the orphanage. One room we get to sometimes play in is called the ‘sensory’ room and is very amazing. It has a large ball pit, big bean bags, soft things to climb and slide down, two columns filled with water that light up and have bubbles and balls floating around in them, some fiber optic cable that lights up and changes color, and a board with different textured items.

Unlike Europe, not many people speak English here, although it is more common with the younger generation. We have found the language to be a huge barrier, one I’ve never before experienced, and leaves us often feeling un-easy. It has also been a large barrier when we are with the boys too. For example, we will want to show them something about the toy they are playing with and they will think that we are trying to take it away. Also, the oldest one will try to tell us something and we simply won’t understand, or we will want to say something to them but just don’t know how. We are naturally drawn to people of our own language (our two favorite people here are the two who speak English), so it is harder to create a bond with the boys. We adore them (the middle one has such an adorable laugh you can’t help but love), but I think they mostly see us as someone that is fun to play with most of the time and especially like that we bring ‘new’ toys (which sometimes isn’t a good thing because they can get very wrapped up with playing with a toy and not with us, especially when they think we are going to take it away).

All in all, it is a very hard trip but for a VERY good reason. The other night I sadly told Aaron that I don’t think that I could do this again – he then reminded me that I said that very same thing shortly after giving birth to Emily. I think that is a very good analogy. We have had the long wait of a pregnancy, and now experience the fatigue and ‘pains’ of labour, but our reward is soon to come! And like having a newborn is also fatiguing and has a time of adjustment, we will go through that too once everyone is finally home!

Nov 12th
Last night our visit went well with the children. We thought we weren’t going to be able to visit with them since last minute we needed to go back to the notary’s to sign/fix more documents. But then, since the children had been expecting us, we were allowed to go see them for about 45 minutes. So with no toys in hand we showed up and were able to play in the sensory room. It worked very well and had more direct interaction. Even the baby, who we don’t get to see every time, didn’t cry! He was still scared though and just sat on my hip the whole time watching what was going on, not interacting with us though. We got to see him though once in his baby room interacting with some of his caregivers, playing with toys, and even giggling a couple times (which almost brought me to tears). He will do very well, I really think they all will, and think it won’t necessarily take as long as I originally thought to adjust to us and their new home. Yesterday morning we also got to see the oldest in his speech class – and the middle child started to cry because he hadn’t been told that he come with us, so the caregivers brought him in too. I think the oldest will definitely have the hardest time though – he is very smart, knows Russian well, and has his own personality and agenda. He often tries to tell us but we just can’t understand which is frustrating to him too. When we see him with his caregivers though he is very obedient and well behaved. The middle child is so easy going and just simply loves to have attention, he already seems so easy. And the youngest this morning didn’t cry again either. I tried to put him down once to have him walk while holding my hand, but he didn’t budge so I just ended up carrying him around until he fell asleep.

Anyways, just one more visit with the children tonight and then we start the plane ride back home tomorrow morning. Our bodies are actually feeling somewhat better now (still getting up at 4:30am though) – just in time for the big switch back. I can’t believe we’ve only been here four days, it feels more like 10. We haven’t been told a court date yet, but should know soon. I will be happy to get back home, but will be happier when it is with all our children.

Nov 15th
Back home, and with all our luggage! We got home at around 12:30am last night and about 20hours later things feel ‘normal’ again. The house is back to the way I like it, most of the laundry has been done, kids are fed and in bed, and I’m sitting on the computer – almost as if I hadn’t been gone!

We now have a court date for Jan 21st, so will be heading back sometime around Jan 14th. As much as I want the boys home now, I am happy with that date in that I don’t feel the huge rush to get visa’s/tickets again, etc. This also will give us a chance to get our renovations done and their rooms ready, as well as make it through the Christmas season and family get-togethers. I am sure it will pass quickly…