Again, I am not a patient person - but really how many people like to wait for things, especially wonderful things? I endure the wait because I know of the wonderful things to come. So here we are, almost another year gone, still in the paperwork stage. I see the light at the end of the tunnel though and we should soon be registered in Russia - then we wait some more! Since we are adopting two children our agency can't even guess how long we will wait before getting 'the call'. The call is the invitation to travel to Russia. Once there we will receive a 'referral' which is information on the children they are presenting to us. Normally, for adopting a single child this wait is around 6-9months. I hope it will be much sooner but know we could wait much longer. It is a hard time too because you have to be ready to travel on a moment's notice. That means I have to get the stuff I want to take to leave with the children ready now...which is a lot of fun, but I know the longer we have to wait the harder it will be to have that stuff around.
So, once we have travelled to Russia, met the children, and gotten them checked by a doctor, we either accept or decline the referral. If we were to decline, which I certainly hope and pray that we won't have to, the Russian officials are suppose to try to find us another referral right away while we are still in Russia. Once we accept a referral we come back to Canada and wait for a court date, usually 2-3months. We then travel back to Russia for court where a judge approves the adoption. With any ruling in Russia there is a 10 day appeal period (which may be calendar days or business days depending on what region you are in). During this time we will not have custody of the children so are planning on coming back to Canada - otherwise we will be away from our three children here for a month. I, along with a globe-trotting friend, will then travel back to Russia a third time to get the children, finish up the paperwork, obtain immigration stuff, and then finally bring everyone home! It will be a crazy busy and emotional time...but I soooo look forward to it!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
And a Year Goes By
Argh! I am really bad at this waiting thing. As I read the two journal entries that I am now posting, written a year apart from each other, I could have been writing them today. Same feelings, same thoughts, same prayers, and same conclusion - I HAVE to wait, so I might as well trust Him with it.
"April 4th, 2008
What to say? Thankfully I feel like I am understanding what needs to get done. We have started quite a bit of the paperwork and processes but everything takes so long! I know it feels that way with a pregnancy too but atleast then you have a pretty accurate date of arrival. Part of me can't wait to have all the paperwork done and in Russia where all you have to do is wait for a proposal of the children - but that part is sure to be a very trying part too because all you can do is wait. I am thankful that so far the steps have not been as hard as I thought they would be - and I'm sleeping better for the most part.
I wonder what you look like - if you are born yet. I pray that you will be in good health and that someone will love you until I can bring you home."
"April 8th, 2009
Its been over a year now and we are finally nearing the end of the paperwork stage - I hope! This whole process has been 2 steps forward, 1 step back. I'm not so good with the steps back. It is very frustrating to think that all the paperwork is almost done, and then find out that some needs to be re-done and even more is required. It is hard seeing how slowly things are coming together too - I have to cling to knowing that God's timing is perfect, unlike my own!
I still wonder if the two of you have even been born yet. I hope God will 'whisper' it to me. I pray that your birth-mother will love you and take care of you as you grow inside her. I long to touch and hold you, but for now I will rest in Him and wait."
"April 4th, 2008
What to say? Thankfully I feel like I am understanding what needs to get done. We have started quite a bit of the paperwork and processes but everything takes so long! I know it feels that way with a pregnancy too but atleast then you have a pretty accurate date of arrival. Part of me can't wait to have all the paperwork done and in Russia where all you have to do is wait for a proposal of the children - but that part is sure to be a very trying part too because all you can do is wait. I am thankful that so far the steps have not been as hard as I thought they would be - and I'm sleeping better for the most part.
I wonder what you look like - if you are born yet. I pray that you will be in good health and that someone will love you until I can bring you home."
"April 8th, 2009
Its been over a year now and we are finally nearing the end of the paperwork stage - I hope! This whole process has been 2 steps forward, 1 step back. I'm not so good with the steps back. It is very frustrating to think that all the paperwork is almost done, and then find out that some needs to be re-done and even more is required. It is hard seeing how slowly things are coming together too - I have to cling to knowing that God's timing is perfect, unlike my own!
I still wonder if the two of you have even been born yet. I hope God will 'whisper' it to me. I pray that your birth-mother will love you and take care of you as you grow inside her. I long to touch and hold you, but for now I will rest in Him and wait."
Sunday, January 17, 2010
A Glimpse of the Mountain
Here is the next of my journal entries:
"March 13th, 2008
A lot has happenned over the past week - so much so that I'm feeling burnt out. A few prayers have been answered, and so many more spoken. Firstly, and easily, Aaron's heart on this issue soon followed my own. We've decided to adopt right now - that is to get started on it right now. I've been researching and emailing, gathering as much information as I can. Anytime my mind is quieted - which is basically when I'm lying in bed at night - my thoughts become consumed with this and I can't sleep. Not good. But these times have also included times with God. A few nights ago I asked Him if this is really what He wants us to do, or if this is just what I want. He answered me immediately - that it is what He has had planned. It was so clear. These past few days I have already needed to cling to that. The more I find out about the whole process and costs, the higher the mountain seems. I know that He will bless our obedience - and that this will only happen through Him. I'm feeling drained and discouraged and we've only barely begun. I wish I could jump past all this to the end where I get to look back and see how faithful God was in making the pieces fall into place and bringing us through. I find it very hard to take blind steps trusting that I will land on solid ground - especially when it comes to our finances. I think I will just make it my daily goal to trust Him in this each new day. I know this will be a time of growth for me, and be a testimony of God's faithfulness that I will be able to share with my children as they age. I am thankful, and I certainly anticipate the arrival of the children He has for us."
"March 13th, 2008
A lot has happenned over the past week - so much so that I'm feeling burnt out. A few prayers have been answered, and so many more spoken. Firstly, and easily, Aaron's heart on this issue soon followed my own. We've decided to adopt right now - that is to get started on it right now. I've been researching and emailing, gathering as much information as I can. Anytime my mind is quieted - which is basically when I'm lying in bed at night - my thoughts become consumed with this and I can't sleep. Not good. But these times have also included times with God. A few nights ago I asked Him if this is really what He wants us to do, or if this is just what I want. He answered me immediately - that it is what He has had planned. It was so clear. These past few days I have already needed to cling to that. The more I find out about the whole process and costs, the higher the mountain seems. I know that He will bless our obedience - and that this will only happen through Him. I'm feeling drained and discouraged and we've only barely begun. I wish I could jump past all this to the end where I get to look back and see how faithful God was in making the pieces fall into place and bringing us through. I find it very hard to take blind steps trusting that I will land on solid ground - especially when it comes to our finances. I think I will just make it my daily goal to trust Him in this each new day. I know this will be a time of growth for me, and be a testimony of God's faithfulness that I will be able to share with my children as they age. I am thankful, and I certainly anticipate the arrival of the children He has for us."
Sunday, January 10, 2010
First Thoughts
I figured it would be best to start this blog with a journal entry from what feels like so long ago. Although most of you have just found out about our decision to adopt, we have actually been in the process for 22mths now. I hope to weekly add to this blog by slowly bringing all of you up to date at where we are at, and by answering any question/comments you post...and please feel free to ask!
"March 5th, 2008
The last few weeks I've really felt like it was time to give this whole adoption thing some serious thought. I didn't feel ready to adopt now, but figured that if it was something that we may want to do in 3-5 years we should decide now because it could take that long.
My first feelings were mostly fear-doubt-inadequacy. Fear about whether we could handle it all - the whole huge process - the huge financial cost. Feeling inadequate to deal with the emotional problems the children could come with. Could I love children that were adopted like I love my own? Then it all went away. They would be my own - chosen by God for me to love and raise just like He chose Emily-Cameron-Alexis for me. The cost - God will provide.
My first thoughts - to adopt siblings(2) from the Ukraine - I'm not sure why - possibly because that is my heritage on my mother's side. I looked into it a little on the internet and found that it is really hard to adopt from there. You get no say on age-health-anything, and you have to stay there for 3 months. I can't do that. A few countries were then suggested to me - Russia stuck out. I explored on the internet tonight to see what info I could find - what I found astonished and pierced me. 200,000 children up for adoption. 7,000 adopted per year domestically. 7,000 adopted per year internationally. What horrible odds. A definite need. Things look more promising in regards to their laws too - but still so complicated. I then found a website (in Russian of course) that was suppose to have pics and profiles of the available children. After clicking a few links and buttons, pictures of children started to appear. The only thing I could understand was the year in each profile - they don't even have the same alphabet! I then figured out how to search by year of birth, so I did a search for '2007' just to see. Pictures of babies started to appear 15 per page. My throat tightened as I saw them - so real, so beautiful, with no family, no mom. The horribly high numbers now meant so much more. I scanned page after page wondering how many more there were. I found a button that jumped by 10 pages...that many! I clicked another button - thinking it was probably just the 'next page' button but it took me to the last page. Page 294. 15 babies on each page. All just from 2007. I cried. How could I wait years when there are so many now? All feelings of fear-doubt-and especially inadequacy are gone. Those children have no hope. I have enough clothing, food, and love to help at very least some of them. Its time for me to start climbing the mountain before me. I think the first steps may be the hardest for me - and I pray God helps me with them - convincing my husband."
"March 5th, 2008
The last few weeks I've really felt like it was time to give this whole adoption thing some serious thought. I didn't feel ready to adopt now, but figured that if it was something that we may want to do in 3-5 years we should decide now because it could take that long.
My first feelings were mostly fear-doubt-inadequacy. Fear about whether we could handle it all - the whole huge process - the huge financial cost. Feeling inadequate to deal with the emotional problems the children could come with. Could I love children that were adopted like I love my own? Then it all went away. They would be my own - chosen by God for me to love and raise just like He chose Emily-Cameron-Alexis for me. The cost - God will provide.
My first thoughts - to adopt siblings(2) from the Ukraine - I'm not sure why - possibly because that is my heritage on my mother's side. I looked into it a little on the internet and found that it is really hard to adopt from there. You get no say on age-health-anything, and you have to stay there for 3 months. I can't do that. A few countries were then suggested to me - Russia stuck out. I explored on the internet tonight to see what info I could find - what I found astonished and pierced me. 200,000 children up for adoption. 7,000 adopted per year domestically. 7,000 adopted per year internationally. What horrible odds. A definite need. Things look more promising in regards to their laws too - but still so complicated. I then found a website (in Russian of course) that was suppose to have pics and profiles of the available children. After clicking a few links and buttons, pictures of children started to appear. The only thing I could understand was the year in each profile - they don't even have the same alphabet! I then figured out how to search by year of birth, so I did a search for '2007' just to see. Pictures of babies started to appear 15 per page. My throat tightened as I saw them - so real, so beautiful, with no family, no mom. The horribly high numbers now meant so much more. I scanned page after page wondering how many more there were. I found a button that jumped by 10 pages...that many! I clicked another button - thinking it was probably just the 'next page' button but it took me to the last page. Page 294. 15 babies on each page. All just from 2007. I cried. How could I wait years when there are so many now? All feelings of fear-doubt-and especially inadequacy are gone. Those children have no hope. I have enough clothing, food, and love to help at very least some of them. Its time for me to start climbing the mountain before me. I think the first steps may be the hardest for me - and I pray God helps me with them - convincing my husband."
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