Argh! I am really bad at this waiting thing. As I read the two journal entries that I am now posting, written a year apart from each other, I could have been writing them today. Same feelings, same thoughts, same prayers, and same conclusion - I HAVE to wait, so I might as well trust Him with it.
"April 4th, 2008
What to say? Thankfully I feel like I am understanding what needs to get done. We have started quite a bit of the paperwork and processes but everything takes so long! I know it feels that way with a pregnancy too but atleast then you have a pretty accurate date of arrival. Part of me can't wait to have all the paperwork done and in Russia where all you have to do is wait for a proposal of the children - but that part is sure to be a very trying part too because all you can do is wait. I am thankful that so far the steps have not been as hard as I thought they would be - and I'm sleeping better for the most part.
I wonder what you look like - if you are born yet. I pray that you will be in good health and that someone will love you until I can bring you home."
"April 8th, 2009
Its been over a year now and we are finally nearing the end of the paperwork stage - I hope! This whole process has been 2 steps forward, 1 step back. I'm not so good with the steps back. It is very frustrating to think that all the paperwork is almost done, and then find out that some needs to be re-done and even more is required. It is hard seeing how slowly things are coming together too - I have to cling to knowing that God's timing is perfect, unlike my own!
I still wonder if the two of you have even been born yet. I hope God will 'whisper' it to me. I pray that your birth-mother will love you and take care of you as you grow inside her. I long to touch and hold you, but for now I will rest in Him and wait."
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