First, I finally posted a few pics to go along with my previous post.... but unfortunately they aren't of the boys YET! We still need to wait until after court and the appeal period :(
Once again we are now in the middle of getting our visas and airline tickets, but thankfully not in such a rush. I am still not looking forward to all the travelling, being away from my three kiddos here, and jet-lag - but I am looking forward to getting it all done! The plan still is to head out around the 15th of January, then to start back home January 22nd after court. After about a week at home I will then head back to Russia with my friend Beth (Aaron staying home) when I will get custody of the boys. All five of us will then head to Moscow for a few days while we get their immigration stuff in order - and then the long trek home, finally!
I'm a little nervous about court in that I know we will be asked some hard questions...like how we are any different than the orphanage in having so many children, how we think we will manage with the addition of three children, etc. and being sure to remain respectful of 'Russia' while answering. While in Russia last time Aaron and I were talking with our driver and his friend who sort of knows english, and they just couldn't believe that we would have 6 children. They seemed to think that anything more than 2 or 3 is huge and practically unheard of. I am not really scared that the judge will not allow the adoption, simply because I am sure that this is God's plan for us and these three boys.
Once again, please pray with us over this all - that the boys will adjust well, that our three here will too, for our finances, and for comfort-strength-wisdom for Aaron and I during travelling-court-and in dealing with our new additions. Thanks so much!
...don't forget to take a quick look at the pictures in the previous post :)
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Trip 1, The Novel
Hello and sorry this is delayed in getting posted! I wish I could have shared sooner, but we basically had no internet connection while on our speedy trip. So here is all the details I wrote while away...hope you have time for the 'novel' :)
Nov 10th
Hello from Russia! So we made it through our two days of flights and layovers and even arrived with all our luggage! The flying was hard on us – hard to sleep on cramped planes, then we would sleep an hour and land, spend some time wandering through airports looking for a place to sleep (usually to no avail), etc. By the time we made it to our last two flights we were so exhausted it was now easy to sleep on the planes!
Along the way we had about a 10 hour layover in Amsterdam so Aaron and I hopped onto a train to go into the city and then went for a one hour boat tour. It was really nice, beautiful buildings, much more peaceful than being on the windy street – but so relaxing, and combined with our flights, Aaron could hardly stay awake. Most everyone seemed to speak English which was great, and the accents gave Aaron a sense of feeling ‘home’. I’m sure the ample supply of ‘droppies’ (a salty black licorice type of Dutch candy) helped!
We arrived in Ufa around noon Nov 9th and were greeting by our facilitator and translator. Immediately we headed to the Ministry of Education and officially received the referrals for the boys and therefore permission to visit them at the orphanage. Next we hopped back in the car and two hours later arrived in Sterlitamak. I will never again complain about how bumpy a Canadian road may be – the drive was a constant bump, it was truly unbelievable. We had a short stop at our hosts to unload our luggage and then were headed to the orphanage. We were shown into the music room, which is large and open, and then in came the boys. It is hard to even remember that evening we were so tired. The baby was very scared and cried almost non-stop – which didn’t bother me in that it is good for him to be scared of strangers at his age (just over a year). He is darling though and I wished I could comfort him. The other two boys are quite social and were happy to play with us and the toys we had brought. After a while our facilitator took the baby back to the caregivers and even though we could have stayed longer with the older two, we decided to leave because we were about to fall asleep on our feet. We got back to our host’s at around 5:30pm and immediately went to bed for the rest of the night, too tired to even eat.
Being here has been extremely hard on our bodies. Even though we sleep reasonably well at night until around 4:30am, we are still very tired all the time and nap at every chance we get… not that there has even been much of a chance for that between meeting with doctors, notaries, and other officials. It is frustrating too that we feel this way, but understandable I guess in that we have undergone a 12 hour time change. I really though had no idea that it would be so hard. I’ve had our facilitator ask a couple times if I was alright or sad, when all it is is that I’m simply tired. It has actually done quite a number on my appetite too. I often feel a little nauseous, and even when I am hungry I eat a little and then often immediately feel nauseous again, which makes me lose my appetite even more.
Sterlitamak is a city that is approximately the size of Grande Prairie, but that is about its only similarity. It is FILLED with apartments. Many have stores on the bottom floor and then apartments on top. We really have not seen a single house. Most of them look very old and run down from the outside, but from what we have seen the insides look much better and have been up-kept. All the apartments have balconies that are completely closed in by windows. They are also all heated by hot-water radiators with no thermostats (if it gets too hot you just open a window) and Aaron and I have found it very hot in almost every building we have been in. We can’t imagine how we’d manage in summer months! Also, I’ve never seen so many tiny cars. We see a few vans and buses, but not a single pick-up. The driving is pretty crazy by our standards too, very fast and stop-go, and not pedestrian friendly. The ten minute drive to/from the orphanage is enough to leave us both feeling carsick. The weather though here is exactly what it is back home.
The orphanage is also not what I expected. Again, the outside of the building looks very run-down, but inside is very nice. There are approximately 70 children (I believe age 5 and down), but only about 12 that are currently ‘adoptable’. The children appear to be cared for very well. They have two doctors on staff, one for the older children and one for the toddlers and babies. Each year the children also under-go a very extensive check-up by many different specialists too. This is done for many reasons, one of which is to help parents feel comfortable with knowing their medical history and adopting them. The children also have music lessons, speech lessons, etc right in the orphanage. One room we get to sometimes play in is called the ‘sensory’ room and is very amazing. It has a large ball pit, big bean bags, soft things to climb and slide down, two columns filled with water that light up and have bubbles and balls floating around in them, some fiber optic cable that lights up and changes color, and a board with different textured items.
Unlike Europe, not many people speak English here, although it is more common with the younger generation. We have found the language to be a huge barrier, one I’ve never before experienced, and leaves us often feeling un-easy. It has also been a large barrier when we are with the boys too. For example, we will want to show them something about the toy they are playing with and they will think that we are trying to take it away. Also, the oldest one will try to tell us something and we simply won’t understand, or we will want to say something to them but just don’t know how. We are naturally drawn to people of our own language (our two favorite people here are the two who speak English), so it is harder to create a bond with the boys. We adore them (the middle one has such an adorable laugh you can’t help but love), but I think they mostly see us as someone that is fun to play with most of the time and especially like that we bring ‘new’ toys (which sometimes isn’t a good thing because they can get very wrapped up with playing with a toy and not with us, especially when they think we are going to take it away).
All in all, it is a very hard trip but for a VERY good reason. The other night I sadly told Aaron that I don’t think that I could do this again – he then reminded me that I said that very same thing shortly after giving birth to Emily. I think that is a very good analogy. We have had the long wait of a pregnancy, and now experience the fatigue and ‘pains’ of labour, but our reward is soon to come! And like having a newborn is also fatiguing and has a time of adjustment, we will go through that too once everyone is finally home!
Nov 12th
Last night our visit went well with the children. We thought we weren’t going to be able to visit with them since last minute we needed to go back to the notary’s to sign/fix more documents. But then, since the children had been expecting us, we were allowed to go see them for about 45 minutes. So with no toys in hand we showed up and were able to play in the sensory room. It worked very well and had more direct interaction. Even the baby, who we don’t get to see every time, didn’t cry! He was still scared though and just sat on my hip the whole time watching what was going on, not interacting with us though. We got to see him though once in his baby room interacting with some of his caregivers, playing with toys, and even giggling a couple times (which almost brought me to tears). He will do very well, I really think they all will, and think it won’t necessarily take as long as I originally thought to adjust to us and their new home. Yesterday morning we also got to see the oldest in his speech class – and the middle child started to cry because he hadn’t been told that he come with us, so the caregivers brought him in too. I think the oldest will definitely have the hardest time though – he is very smart, knows Russian well, and has his own personality and agenda. He often tries to tell us but we just can’t understand which is frustrating to him too. When we see him with his caregivers though he is very obedient and well behaved. The middle child is so easy going and just simply loves to have attention, he already seems so easy. And the youngest this morning didn’t cry again either. I tried to put him down once to have him walk while holding my hand, but he didn’t budge so I just ended up carrying him around until he fell asleep.
Anyways, just one more visit with the children tonight and then we start the plane ride back home tomorrow morning. Our bodies are actually feeling somewhat better now (still getting up at 4:30am though) – just in time for the big switch back. I can’t believe we’ve only been here four days, it feels more like 10. We haven’t been told a court date yet, but should know soon. I will be happy to get back home, but will be happier when it is with all our children.
Nov 15th
Back home, and with all our luggage! We got home at around 12:30am last night and about 20hours later things feel ‘normal’ again. The house is back to the way I like it, most of the laundry has been done, kids are fed and in bed, and I’m sitting on the computer – almost as if I hadn’t been gone!
We now have a court date for Jan 21st, so will be heading back sometime around Jan 14th. As much as I want the boys home now, I am happy with that date in that I don’t feel the huge rush to get visa’s/tickets again, etc. This also will give us a chance to get our renovations done and their rooms ready, as well as make it through the Christmas season and family get-togethers. I am sure it will pass quickly…
Nov 10th
Hello from Russia! So we made it through our two days of flights and layovers and even arrived with all our luggage! The flying was hard on us – hard to sleep on cramped planes, then we would sleep an hour and land, spend some time wandering through airports looking for a place to sleep (usually to no avail), etc. By the time we made it to our last two flights we were so exhausted it was now easy to sleep on the planes!
Along the way we had about a 10 hour layover in Amsterdam so Aaron and I hopped onto a train to go into the city and then went for a one hour boat tour. It was really nice, beautiful buildings, much more peaceful than being on the windy street – but so relaxing, and combined with our flights, Aaron could hardly stay awake. Most everyone seemed to speak English which was great, and the accents gave Aaron a sense of feeling ‘home’. I’m sure the ample supply of ‘droppies’ (a salty black licorice type of Dutch candy) helped!
We arrived in Ufa around noon Nov 9th and were greeting by our facilitator and translator. Immediately we headed to the Ministry of Education and officially received the referrals for the boys and therefore permission to visit them at the orphanage. Next we hopped back in the car and two hours later arrived in Sterlitamak. I will never again complain about how bumpy a Canadian road may be – the drive was a constant bump, it was truly unbelievable. We had a short stop at our hosts to unload our luggage and then were headed to the orphanage. We were shown into the music room, which is large and open, and then in came the boys. It is hard to even remember that evening we were so tired. The baby was very scared and cried almost non-stop – which didn’t bother me in that it is good for him to be scared of strangers at his age (just over a year). He is darling though and I wished I could comfort him. The other two boys are quite social and were happy to play with us and the toys we had brought. After a while our facilitator took the baby back to the caregivers and even though we could have stayed longer with the older two, we decided to leave because we were about to fall asleep on our feet. We got back to our host’s at around 5:30pm and immediately went to bed for the rest of the night, too tired to even eat.
Front of Orphanage
Sterlitamak is a city that is approximately the size of Grande Prairie, but that is about its only similarity. It is FILLED with apartments. Many have stores on the bottom floor and then apartments on top. We really have not seen a single house. Most of them look very old and run down from the outside, but from what we have seen the insides look much better and have been up-kept. All the apartments have balconies that are completely closed in by windows. They are also all heated by hot-water radiators with no thermostats (if it gets too hot you just open a window) and Aaron and I have found it very hot in almost every building we have been in. We can’t imagine how we’d manage in summer months! Also, I’ve never seen so many tiny cars. We see a few vans and buses, but not a single pick-up. The driving is pretty crazy by our standards too, very fast and stop-go, and not pedestrian friendly. The ten minute drive to/from the orphanage is enough to leave us both feeling carsick. The weather though here is exactly what it is back home.
The orphanage is also not what I expected. Again, the outside of the building looks very run-down, but inside is very nice. There are approximately 70 children (I believe age 5 and down), but only about 12 that are currently ‘adoptable’. The children appear to be cared for very well. They have two doctors on staff, one for the older children and one for the toddlers and babies. Each year the children also under-go a very extensive check-up by many different specialists too. This is done for many reasons, one of which is to help parents feel comfortable with knowing their medical history and adopting them. The children also have music lessons, speech lessons, etc right in the orphanage. One room we get to sometimes play in is called the ‘sensory’ room and is very amazing. It has a large ball pit, big bean bags, soft things to climb and slide down, two columns filled with water that light up and have bubbles and balls floating around in them, some fiber optic cable that lights up and changes color, and a board with different textured items.
Unlike Europe, not many people speak English here, although it is more common with the younger generation. We have found the language to be a huge barrier, one I’ve never before experienced, and leaves us often feeling un-easy. It has also been a large barrier when we are with the boys too. For example, we will want to show them something about the toy they are playing with and they will think that we are trying to take it away. Also, the oldest one will try to tell us something and we simply won’t understand, or we will want to say something to them but just don’t know how. We are naturally drawn to people of our own language (our two favorite people here are the two who speak English), so it is harder to create a bond with the boys. We adore them (the middle one has such an adorable laugh you can’t help but love), but I think they mostly see us as someone that is fun to play with most of the time and especially like that we bring ‘new’ toys (which sometimes isn’t a good thing because they can get very wrapped up with playing with a toy and not with us, especially when they think we are going to take it away).
All in all, it is a very hard trip but for a VERY good reason. The other night I sadly told Aaron that I don’t think that I could do this again – he then reminded me that I said that very same thing shortly after giving birth to Emily. I think that is a very good analogy. We have had the long wait of a pregnancy, and now experience the fatigue and ‘pains’ of labour, but our reward is soon to come! And like having a newborn is also fatiguing and has a time of adjustment, we will go through that too once everyone is finally home!
Nov 12th
Last night our visit went well with the children. We thought we weren’t going to be able to visit with them since last minute we needed to go back to the notary’s to sign/fix more documents. But then, since the children had been expecting us, we were allowed to go see them for about 45 minutes. So with no toys in hand we showed up and were able to play in the sensory room. It worked very well and had more direct interaction. Even the baby, who we don’t get to see every time, didn’t cry! He was still scared though and just sat on my hip the whole time watching what was going on, not interacting with us though. We got to see him though once in his baby room interacting with some of his caregivers, playing with toys, and even giggling a couple times (which almost brought me to tears). He will do very well, I really think they all will, and think it won’t necessarily take as long as I originally thought to adjust to us and their new home. Yesterday morning we also got to see the oldest in his speech class – and the middle child started to cry because he hadn’t been told that he come with us, so the caregivers brought him in too. I think the oldest will definitely have the hardest time though – he is very smart, knows Russian well, and has his own personality and agenda. He often tries to tell us but we just can’t understand which is frustrating to him too. When we see him with his caregivers though he is very obedient and well behaved. The middle child is so easy going and just simply loves to have attention, he already seems so easy. And the youngest this morning didn’t cry again either. I tried to put him down once to have him walk while holding my hand, but he didn’t budge so I just ended up carrying him around until he fell asleep.
Anyways, just one more visit with the children tonight and then we start the plane ride back home tomorrow morning. Our bodies are actually feeling somewhat better now (still getting up at 4:30am though) – just in time for the big switch back. I can’t believe we’ve only been here four days, it feels more like 10. We haven’t been told a court date yet, but should know soon. I will be happy to get back home, but will be happier when it is with all our children.
Nov 15th
Back home, and with all our luggage! We got home at around 12:30am last night and about 20hours later things feel ‘normal’ again. The house is back to the way I like it, most of the laundry has been done, kids are fed and in bed, and I’m sitting on the computer – almost as if I hadn’t been gone!
We now have a court date for Jan 21st, so will be heading back sometime around Jan 14th. As much as I want the boys home now, I am happy with that date in that I don’t feel the huge rush to get visa’s/tickets again, etc. This also will give us a chance to get our renovations done and their rooms ready, as well as make it through the Christmas season and family get-togethers. I am sure it will pass quickly…
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Three Days to Lift-off
So I thought that I would be blogging more these past two weeks since there would be stuff to tell, but turns out that I have simply been so busy that I haven't had the chance!
The first week after finding out our travel date was a tough one. I feel that we were attacked over and over again BUT of course God's plan endures and at the end of the week we finally managed to get tickets booked, childcare in place, visas being processed, and a few puppies off to their new homes. The visas have been quite the struggle though - first our tourist visas were denied (although everyone travels their first trip on tourist visas). We then had to send them double the money for business visas, which were finally approved and mailed out yesterday ...so they should be arriving in Fairview tomorrow (Friday) with not a day to spare since we fly out on Sunday. Ya, a little stressful at times!
As I mentioned, we fly out Sunday (7th) morning and arrive Tuesday (9th) morning because of the change in time zones. Coming back, although just as much flight time, looks a lot better in that we leave Sunday (14th) morning and get back Sunday night. I find it kind of funny that we are flying on a dutch airline and have our layover in Amsterdam since Aaron's family is dutch in heritage and this will be Aaron's first time in Holland ...not sure though if he will get to see anything beyond the airport!
Now back to 'the list' for me... less than three days to go and lots yet to do.
The first week after finding out our travel date was a tough one. I feel that we were attacked over and over again BUT of course God's plan endures and at the end of the week we finally managed to get tickets booked, childcare in place, visas being processed, and a few puppies off to their new homes. The visas have been quite the struggle though - first our tourist visas were denied (although everyone travels their first trip on tourist visas). We then had to send them double the money for business visas, which were finally approved and mailed out yesterday ...so they should be arriving in Fairview tomorrow (Friday) with not a day to spare since we fly out on Sunday. Ya, a little stressful at times!
As I mentioned, we fly out Sunday (7th) morning and arrive Tuesday (9th) morning because of the change in time zones. Coming back, although just as much flight time, looks a lot better in that we leave Sunday (14th) morning and get back Sunday night. I find it kind of funny that we are flying on a dutch airline and have our layover in Amsterdam since Aaron's family is dutch in heritage and this will be Aaron's first time in Holland ...not sure though if he will get to see anything beyond the airport!
Now back to 'the list' for me... less than three days to go and lots yet to do.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Here We Go!
Long time with no posts once again....but what is there to say when you are just waiting, and waiting? In some ways it was nicer than the paperwork stage because I didn't have the stress of gathering and waiting for tons of documents over my head. But, some days I just began to wonder if the call to travel was EVER going to come, especially before all the paperwork expired again....and not knowing often would lead to feelings of sadness over the time we have already lost with these darling boys - a total of almost eight years of experiences and time if you add up their ages. BUT, now it feels like the end is actually in site!
As many have already heard, WE GOT THE CALL TO TRAVEL! Russia here we come! Yesterday morning brought the news that we are to be in Russia the morning of Nov 9th! That is 19 days notice, which already seems to be flying by...only 10 more business days until we leave...which we will need every one of in order to get our tourist visa's back in time. With the call came a huge feeling of excitement, thankfulness, some surrealism, and stress with getting our visa applications done and back. This amount of notice feels perfect - fast enough that I don't feel that more time is simply being missed with them, and just long enough to get everything together and ready to go.
So we will likely fly out on the 7th in order to arrive at our destination in time. We will be picked up at the airport and then wisked off to the Ministry of Education where we will officially receive the referral on the boys. After that I believe we will be headed to the orphanage! I am sure it will be one of the longest days of my life with the time change and flight half way around the world, and am certain I will be desperately yearning for a shower and fluffy bed.
I can't wait to meet the boys, but am really not 'expecting' any sort of reaction from them. We will be strangers to them that hardly can even speak Russian. There may be crying, they may be terrified, or they may be excited to have someone to give them so much attention and play-time. The Albertan family that took the pictures we have of the boys back in June had an 'interesting' time with their referral. Their little girl was so scared that she wouldn't be alone with them, let them touch her, or ever smile for all of their first trip and most of their second. They understood her feelings though, kept strong, and had compassion on her - and once she was legally their daughter and they were able to leave to start to make the trek home, a 'switch flipped' in her and she changed into a happy three year old. I could honestly even see the difference in the pictures they posted on their blog, and it makes me tear up! It is my best guess that it wasn't until they were leaving with her that she finally felt secure in that they really were going to be her forever family. I hope for an easier time than what they experienced, but know that their story will help to keep our spirits up if it is a 'rough start' with the boys.
We also got a little bad news today. I was thinking from other's past experiences that our court date would come about a month after our first trip, so around mid December. When I was talking with our agency today, though, they informed me that their rep in Russia figures we won't get a court date until the end of January ....but God is bigger! So I invite everyone to pray for a quick court date, a smooth process, and for us to remain in good spirits and see God's leading in all situations. Thanks so much for your prayers, love, support, and excitement!
As many have already heard, WE GOT THE CALL TO TRAVEL! Russia here we come! Yesterday morning brought the news that we are to be in Russia the morning of Nov 9th! That is 19 days notice, which already seems to be flying by...only 10 more business days until we leave...which we will need every one of in order to get our tourist visa's back in time. With the call came a huge feeling of excitement, thankfulness, some surrealism, and stress with getting our visa applications done and back. This amount of notice feels perfect - fast enough that I don't feel that more time is simply being missed with them, and just long enough to get everything together and ready to go.
So we will likely fly out on the 7th in order to arrive at our destination in time. We will be picked up at the airport and then wisked off to the Ministry of Education where we will officially receive the referral on the boys. After that I believe we will be headed to the orphanage! I am sure it will be one of the longest days of my life with the time change and flight half way around the world, and am certain I will be desperately yearning for a shower and fluffy bed.
I can't wait to meet the boys, but am really not 'expecting' any sort of reaction from them. We will be strangers to them that hardly can even speak Russian. There may be crying, they may be terrified, or they may be excited to have someone to give them so much attention and play-time. The Albertan family that took the pictures we have of the boys back in June had an 'interesting' time with their referral. Their little girl was so scared that she wouldn't be alone with them, let them touch her, or ever smile for all of their first trip and most of their second. They understood her feelings though, kept strong, and had compassion on her - and once she was legally their daughter and they were able to leave to start to make the trek home, a 'switch flipped' in her and she changed into a happy three year old. I could honestly even see the difference in the pictures they posted on their blog, and it makes me tear up! It is my best guess that it wasn't until they were leaving with her that she finally felt secure in that they really were going to be her forever family. I hope for an easier time than what they experienced, but know that their story will help to keep our spirits up if it is a 'rough start' with the boys.
We also got a little bad news today. I was thinking from other's past experiences that our court date would come about a month after our first trip, so around mid December. When I was talking with our agency today, though, they informed me that their rep in Russia figures we won't get a court date until the end of January ....but God is bigger! So I invite everyone to pray for a quick court date, a smooth process, and for us to remain in good spirits and see God's leading in all situations. Thanks so much for your prayers, love, support, and excitement!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Paperwork Pregnant Again
Sorry for no posts for so long. Been busy doing paperwork and haven't had much to post until now.
As you may notice in my previous posts the pictures have been deleted at the request of my agency. Why? Well, things don't exactly go by the 'book' all the time...like we are to have no info on any children until we travel to Russia, but we are fortunate to have gotten some in round-about ways. This could get some in trouble, plus there is always the 'fear' that someone else could steal a referral, although I don't know really if that ever happens. So it was either delete the pictures or make my blog private, which means anyone wanting to read my blog would have to put in a person request to have access to it which I would then have to approve - a pain for you and me. So hopefully you already got a sneak peak!
So paperwork is done again! SOOOOO glad for that. Well, except for applying for Sponsorship for a third child which I first need to do our 2009 taxes to do.
Also, our agency just informed us that the boys have been examined by the Designated Medical Practioner and that he was very pleased with how healthy all three are! So we are now waiting for his report, then have to decide whether or not to have it reviewed by a doctor specializing in evaluating and interpreting internation adoption referrals. I'd love to have someone tell me that they don't have any medical issues like FAS, but they can't be 100% sure, and I am guessing that it will cost us hundreds of dollars per child. I just don't know. Every penny is needed right now with things looking like they should be happening pretty fast, and Aaron and I both feel that these are 'the ones', so I'm not sure if spending the extra $$ is really worth it?
About when will all this be happenning? MY best GUESS is that we will travel in Oct or Nov to meet them, and then have a Dec court date...so may be spending Christmas in Russia. :( New prayer request is that we will ALL be home before Christmas!
As you may notice in my previous posts the pictures have been deleted at the request of my agency. Why? Well, things don't exactly go by the 'book' all the time...like we are to have no info on any children until we travel to Russia, but we are fortunate to have gotten some in round-about ways. This could get some in trouble, plus there is always the 'fear' that someone else could steal a referral, although I don't know really if that ever happens. So it was either delete the pictures or make my blog private, which means anyone wanting to read my blog would have to put in a person request to have access to it which I would then have to approve - a pain for you and me. So hopefully you already got a sneak peak!
So paperwork is done again! SOOOOO glad for that. Well, except for applying for Sponsorship for a third child which I first need to do our 2009 taxes to do.
Also, our agency just informed us that the boys have been examined by the Designated Medical Practioner and that he was very pleased with how healthy all three are! So we are now waiting for his report, then have to decide whether or not to have it reviewed by a doctor specializing in evaluating and interpreting internation adoption referrals. I'd love to have someone tell me that they don't have any medical issues like FAS, but they can't be 100% sure, and I am guessing that it will cost us hundreds of dollars per child. I just don't know. Every penny is needed right now with things looking like they should be happening pretty fast, and Aaron and I both feel that these are 'the ones', so I'm not sure if spending the extra $$ is really worth it?
About when will all this be happenning? MY best GUESS is that we will travel in Oct or Nov to meet them, and then have a Dec court date...so may be spending Christmas in Russia. :( New prayer request is that we will ALL be home before Christmas!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Boys Boys Boys :)
So lots of good news! First, and most exciting, verbally we got the go ahead from the AB gov't to adopt three! I hope to get the letter saying so this week. Thanks so much for praying! The okay didn't come in time to have the boys medically examined, so we will just have to wait on that. Next, I have almost all of the documents we need for our new dossier, whew! And we got new wonderful pictures, taken just last week by the family who went to see a little girl referral! As I said on Facebook - I am so smitten!
I always get nervous posting pictures on our blog... but since I haven't stated what agency we are with, what region we are adopting from, any specifics like names or ages of the boys, and because I totally want to share with all of you, here they are :)
(Pictures deleted for now at request of agency)
Yup, totally smitten! So, as you may have noticed the baby picture is not the same baby as in the photo we previously got. Since all of these photo's are 'unofficial' and have been taken by famillies who have visited the orphanage, that is why there likely was a mix-up. It is most likely that these pics are of the baby we hope to adopt.
Other good news is that the last two famillies who have adopted from this orphange through our agency only had to wait one month between their first trip and their court date! That is so awesome because I already want these boys home now, and expect for it to be torture to have to wait after getting to meet, play with, and hold them in my arms. A month seems do-able!
It seems crazy that for two years we had nothing but bumps in this adoption road, and since being told about these boys it has been smooth sailing. I pray it continues! Also, I know that my blog name no longer fits - but to change it would only confuse everyone, so it is staying as is.
I was recently asked a question that many of you may be thinking, "Do you think you guys can handle adopting three at once?" I certainly have my worries at times. I am reading a book right now about a child with attachment disorder and it scares the heck out of me, so I pray we won't have that issue. In the meantime we prepare however we can. I know God told us to walk this road, so if the road leads to three darling boys - I trust Him to give us just what we will need.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Call to PRAYER!
So first for some good news. We have gotten Russian approval to proceed based on our finances. Also, our homestudy agency being on the 'blacklist' doesn't look like it will cause us trouble. And, WE GOT PICTURES! I had looked on the Russian database and made my best guess as to who the boys were based on their ages...came up with 3 pictures of absolute cuties...and then later found out my guess was right when a family who has just gotten back from that same orphanage had pictures of the boys which were then passed on to us! I have modified the pictures, so here is a peak :)
(Pictures deleted for now at request of agency)
So cute eh!? That is if you ignore some of their attire...
Now about the 'mountains'. So if you refer to the previous posting, mountain 2 and 3 are gone. I am currently trying to climb mountain 4. It is mountain 1 that we need God to move. This is what I ask you to pray: first, that we get provincial approval to adopt three children, and second, that it happens quickly. We just found out that IF we get approval soon, we can have the boys examined by a Designated Medical Practioner on June 22. It is my best guess that we have this opportunity even though the region is technically blind (where you can't get info on the children until you are in Russia) because another family with our agency will be there meeting their referral and would be getting her examined then. So, if we miss this window we likely won't get any medical info on the boys until we travel to Russia.
Thanks so much, and I'll keep you posted!
Friday, May 14, 2010
Mountains, Mountains, Mountains!
Definitely time for an update! So much has happened in the last couple weeks.
First, we found out May 8th that we are not eligible to adopt the sibling group I previously talked about due to our family size already. I was very surprised to find this out since I have never heard of Russia having a family size limit, but every region is different - so I guess it did matter in this one. Canada is like that too - every province has their own rules. I was just told that you basically aren't allowed to adopt sibling groups if you live in Ontario. Either way, door closed! So, now I will tell you that the possible referral was of twin boys who will be a year old in July.
Along with the sad news came news of another possible referral, this time in another region as well. It took days of consideration, stress, prayers, questions...but we again have decided to proceed with bringing these children home. It is almost funny to me how stressed and confused I felt just days ago when I have complete peace now. So what could be better than two little blessings and require so much stressful thought? How about three little blessings! Yup, this sibling group consists of three little boys - the oldest currently being 3 1/2 years old.
But, SO MANY MOUNTAINS! The mountains scare me at times. Some mountains we can't even climb, so I pray that if this is God's will He will move them. First mountain - getting provincial approval to adopt three when getting approved to adopt two wasn't very easy. Second mountain - getting Russian approval to adopt three based on our finances. Third mountain - getting our homestudy agency off of the Russian blacklist for missing post-placement report(s) (yup, when the blacklist was published in April there were only two Canadian agencies on the list, an ours was one of them!). Forth mountain - getting another dossier together, legalized, translated, and to this new region. Then we wait for Russia to call us with a meeting date.
I hate that everything takes months when these boys are getting older each day. I wish we were leaving next week to meet them.
On a good note, our agency has agreed to give us a cut on adopting three, so we should still end up just paying the $70,000 that I had estimated it would cost us for adopting two. That is especially helpful since now we will have to buy a larger passenger van since our Montana only holds seven people. I was planning on getting one of these anyways, I just thought that we still had a couple years before it would needed.
Another good item worth mentioning - a lady from Calgary should be leaving some time in June to meet the little girl she is adopting. This little girl is in the same orphanage as these boys, so she has offered to try to take some pics/video of the boys for us! That would be SOOOOO GREAT!
First, we found out May 8th that we are not eligible to adopt the sibling group I previously talked about due to our family size already. I was very surprised to find this out since I have never heard of Russia having a family size limit, but every region is different - so I guess it did matter in this one. Canada is like that too - every province has their own rules. I was just told that you basically aren't allowed to adopt sibling groups if you live in Ontario. Either way, door closed! So, now I will tell you that the possible referral was of twin boys who will be a year old in July.
Along with the sad news came news of another possible referral, this time in another region as well. It took days of consideration, stress, prayers, questions...but we again have decided to proceed with bringing these children home. It is almost funny to me how stressed and confused I felt just days ago when I have complete peace now. So what could be better than two little blessings and require so much stressful thought? How about three little blessings! Yup, this sibling group consists of three little boys - the oldest currently being 3 1/2 years old.
But, SO MANY MOUNTAINS! The mountains scare me at times. Some mountains we can't even climb, so I pray that if this is God's will He will move them. First mountain - getting provincial approval to adopt three when getting approved to adopt two wasn't very easy. Second mountain - getting Russian approval to adopt three based on our finances. Third mountain - getting our homestudy agency off of the Russian blacklist for missing post-placement report(s) (yup, when the blacklist was published in April there were only two Canadian agencies on the list, an ours was one of them!). Forth mountain - getting another dossier together, legalized, translated, and to this new region. Then we wait for Russia to call us with a meeting date.
I hate that everything takes months when these boys are getting older each day. I wish we were leaving next week to meet them.
On a good note, our agency has agreed to give us a cut on adopting three, so we should still end up just paying the $70,000 that I had estimated it would cost us for adopting two. That is especially helpful since now we will have to buy a larger passenger van since our Montana only holds seven people. I was planning on getting one of these anyways, I just thought that we still had a couple years before it would needed.
Another good item worth mentioning - a lady from Calgary should be leaving some time in June to meet the little girl she is adopting. This little girl is in the same orphanage as these boys, so she has offered to try to take some pics/video of the boys for us! That would be SOOOOO GREAT!
Friday, April 23, 2010
Our Agency Calls
First, as you may have noticed in previous posts, I have been leaving out certain specific details of our adoption on purpose. This is a public blog so I want to keep some stuff vague so as to keep from specifically identifying the children we go to adopt until I feel that it is 'safe' to do so. Referrals can be 'lost'. I know of one Canadian agency that even prohibits its clients from posting anything in regards to their adoption on the internet. But, if there are details that you want to know that I have left out, feel free to ask via private email/facebook and I may just tell!
Last Monday, April 19th, the phone rings and our agency's name is on the call display. I tell myself to breath and that they are probably just calling to tell me that paperwork has expired and there is more to do. It is our co-ordinator, and she asks if I have time to talk to the director. I do, and even if I didn't, I do. Actually, at this point I figure that he is calling to get us to up our age limit - which they have asked us by email to do numerous times.
He is very socialable, asks about where we live and talks about his time in Alberta. Then he announces that he thinks they may have a referral for us, but that it is in a different region than the one we are currently registered. It is a new region for our agency and wasn't an option back when we were choosing where to adopt from within Russia. This other region he speaks of though is a bit more expensive, $3000 US per child more. Also, if we are interested we would need to do up another dossier and getting it 'legalized' at the consulate would cost approximately another $3000. So an additional $9000ish over waiting indefinitely for a referral from the region we are registered in. He also tells me the age/gender of the children. I let out a heart yearning 'ooooowww' and he laughs. I couldn't ask for a more perfect age/gender referral....but don't know anything else like health. "So do you want me to request the referral for you" he asks. My heart is saying "yes! yes!", and my mouth says "I need to talk to my husband".
Over the next few days we find out that we actually can't get the referral until July because the children haven't been on the Russian national database long enough to be eligible for international adoption. This means we wait to see if they are still available for adoption in July, or if a Russian family adopts them in the meantime. (sigh!) Up to the point where you sign the paperwork to accept a referral, a Russian family can snatch them up. And, even after you do sign the paperwork a relative can still decide to care for the children and stop the adoption. It is not until after the judge rules in your favour at court and the 10 day appeal period expires that they will really be ours. That seems mountains away. Again though, even if we do manage to get the referral we will have to see about their health. In Russia, fetal alcohol syndrome is a common concern.
So, at this point Aaron and I have decided to go ahead and get another dossier together for this new region, in hopes of getting this referral in July, since we found out that we can be registered in both regions at the same time. This gives us a little comfort that even if these children are adopted by someone else in the meantime, that it would still open up a whole other region for us and in theory may help get us another referral quicker.
I feel 'pregnant', and like we are announcing it immediately after seeing the + sign on the pee stick (pregnancy test). Very nervous, with a good chance of 'miscarrying'...and dreading having to tell the 'miscarry' story to everyone. I don't want another referral, I want this one. But God is wiser than I, so I trust and find comfort in Him. Like the song in my playlist (at the bottom of this page) by JJ Heller says, "when my world is shaking, Heaven stands. when my heart is breaking, I never leave Your hands."
Last Monday, April 19th, the phone rings and our agency's name is on the call display. I tell myself to breath and that they are probably just calling to tell me that paperwork has expired and there is more to do. It is our co-ordinator, and she asks if I have time to talk to the director. I do, and even if I didn't, I do. Actually, at this point I figure that he is calling to get us to up our age limit - which they have asked us by email to do numerous times.
He is very socialable, asks about where we live and talks about his time in Alberta. Then he announces that he thinks they may have a referral for us, but that it is in a different region than the one we are currently registered. It is a new region for our agency and wasn't an option back when we were choosing where to adopt from within Russia. This other region he speaks of though is a bit more expensive, $3000 US per child more. Also, if we are interested we would need to do up another dossier and getting it 'legalized' at the consulate would cost approximately another $3000. So an additional $9000ish over waiting indefinitely for a referral from the region we are registered in. He also tells me the age/gender of the children. I let out a heart yearning 'ooooowww' and he laughs. I couldn't ask for a more perfect age/gender referral....but don't know anything else like health. "So do you want me to request the referral for you" he asks. My heart is saying "yes! yes!", and my mouth says "I need to talk to my husband".
Over the next few days we find out that we actually can't get the referral until July because the children haven't been on the Russian national database long enough to be eligible for international adoption. This means we wait to see if they are still available for adoption in July, or if a Russian family adopts them in the meantime. (sigh!) Up to the point where you sign the paperwork to accept a referral, a Russian family can snatch them up. And, even after you do sign the paperwork a relative can still decide to care for the children and stop the adoption. It is not until after the judge rules in your favour at court and the 10 day appeal period expires that they will really be ours. That seems mountains away. Again though, even if we do manage to get the referral we will have to see about their health. In Russia, fetal alcohol syndrome is a common concern.
So, at this point Aaron and I have decided to go ahead and get another dossier together for this new region, in hopes of getting this referral in July, since we found out that we can be registered in both regions at the same time. This gives us a little comfort that even if these children are adopted by someone else in the meantime, that it would still open up a whole other region for us and in theory may help get us another referral quicker.
I feel 'pregnant', and like we are announcing it immediately after seeing the + sign on the pee stick (pregnancy test). Very nervous, with a good chance of 'miscarrying'...and dreading having to tell the 'miscarry' story to everyone. I don't want another referral, I want this one. But God is wiser than I, so I trust and find comfort in Him. Like the song in my playlist (at the bottom of this page) by JJ Heller says, "when my world is shaking, Heaven stands. when my heart is breaking, I never leave Your hands."
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Russian Adoption Scandal
First, for those of you who may not know the details:
A single lady in the United States adopted a seven year old boy the end of last September. For one reason or another things did not work out. So, last week she sent him on a one-way direct flight from the US to Moscow with a note in his hand basically saying that he was violent, with psycological issues that were hidden from her knowledge prior to adopting him, and that she wanted the adoption cancelled.
Very sad on many levels. First, she abandoned this young boy and sent him half way across the world on his own. She had many other options. What kind of counseling if any did she try? If it was that severe maybe he should have been hospitalized or sent to a facility where he would receive help. If she sincerely could not handle him and feared for her safety, she could have handed him over to the US system where he would have been put into foster care and back up to be re-adopted. This happens on occassion and is called 'disruption'. Instead, this little boy is headed back to an orphanage with VERY little hope of ever having a family - let alone the additional issues he will have for all that he has been through in the past 6 months.
Secondly, international adoption is a volitile process. A country will only stay open to adopting out its orphans if it believes that they are being well cared for. So even a single such act can shut down a country to adopting - and this is now what the US may be facing. Russia has currently suspended adoptions from the agency this lady used - which was heartbreaking news to one of my web-friends who is waiting to go back to bring their little boy home since they too used this agency. A minister in Russia has also requested that ALL US adoptions be shut down until the US and Russia could come up with some 'bilateral agreement'. There has been a 'stay' on this decision and we will see how things play out over the next week. Were things to shut down there will be hundreds of famillies who have invested a huge amount of emotion, time, and money all left wondering if they will ever get to bring home a child, or if they will have to start all over again with another country. There will also be that many more Russian children who will not get to be part of a family.
In my opinion, this lady did this drastic and selfish act because she was mad at 'Russia' and wanted to make a point that she was 'deceived'. Could this kind of situation be avoided. I think yes. Everyone adopting from Russia is required to travel there to meet the child(ren) they are being referred BEFORE they accept the referral. You can visit the child mutliple times. You also have them examined by a doctor and can then take that info, any other previous medical info, and pictures/video you have taken and send it back to the US/Canada to be reviewed by a doctor specializing in international adoption. You can also educate yourself prior to travelling to meet a referral on watching for 'red flags'. No one is forcing you to accept a referral - it is your decision.
Finally, will this affect our adoption? It doesn't appear so. Russia has taken no action against other countries. If it does shut down the US, we would likely receive a quicker referral since we are registered in a region that many US agencies also use. A small positive for us, but at such a huge cost to so many others. :(
A single lady in the United States adopted a seven year old boy the end of last September. For one reason or another things did not work out. So, last week she sent him on a one-way direct flight from the US to Moscow with a note in his hand basically saying that he was violent, with psycological issues that were hidden from her knowledge prior to adopting him, and that she wanted the adoption cancelled.
Very sad on many levels. First, she abandoned this young boy and sent him half way across the world on his own. She had many other options. What kind of counseling if any did she try? If it was that severe maybe he should have been hospitalized or sent to a facility where he would receive help. If she sincerely could not handle him and feared for her safety, she could have handed him over to the US system where he would have been put into foster care and back up to be re-adopted. This happens on occassion and is called 'disruption'. Instead, this little boy is headed back to an orphanage with VERY little hope of ever having a family - let alone the additional issues he will have for all that he has been through in the past 6 months.
Secondly, international adoption is a volitile process. A country will only stay open to adopting out its orphans if it believes that they are being well cared for. So even a single such act can shut down a country to adopting - and this is now what the US may be facing. Russia has currently suspended adoptions from the agency this lady used - which was heartbreaking news to one of my web-friends who is waiting to go back to bring their little boy home since they too used this agency. A minister in Russia has also requested that ALL US adoptions be shut down until the US and Russia could come up with some 'bilateral agreement'. There has been a 'stay' on this decision and we will see how things play out over the next week. Were things to shut down there will be hundreds of famillies who have invested a huge amount of emotion, time, and money all left wondering if they will ever get to bring home a child, or if they will have to start all over again with another country. There will also be that many more Russian children who will not get to be part of a family.
In my opinion, this lady did this drastic and selfish act because she was mad at 'Russia' and wanted to make a point that she was 'deceived'. Could this kind of situation be avoided. I think yes. Everyone adopting from Russia is required to travel there to meet the child(ren) they are being referred BEFORE they accept the referral. You can visit the child mutliple times. You also have them examined by a doctor and can then take that info, any other previous medical info, and pictures/video you have taken and send it back to the US/Canada to be reviewed by a doctor specializing in international adoption. You can also educate yourself prior to travelling to meet a referral on watching for 'red flags'. No one is forcing you to accept a referral - it is your decision.
Finally, will this affect our adoption? It doesn't appear so. Russia has taken no action against other countries. If it does shut down the US, we would likely receive a quicker referral since we are registered in a region that many US agencies also use. A small positive for us, but at such a huge cost to so many others. :(
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Paperwork Pregnant :)
We are FINALLY there! All our paperwork is now in Russia! According to our adoption 'internet chat world' we will go through four stages as follows:
*Hunting & Gathering (the stage where you are gathering all the paperwork to make up your dossier)
*Paperwork Pregnant (paperwork done, registered in region and waiting for a referral)
*Something Related to Starbucks (have travel dates to meet child(ren), or are in between trips)
*Graduate/Gottcha (court done and you have your child(ren))
It feels like we were 'hunting & gathering' forever, and I am tickled to be moving on to the next category. Now we wait for 'the call' telling us we have an appointment in Russia. When people say they waited 6 months for a referral, that means that they waited 6 months from when they were registered in region. We have friends who also are adopting from Russia (different region than us) who just waited only two months... I only hope things will go like that for us, but not likely.
Again, I think this stage...actually all stages, are tough. A telemarketer called the other day and the phone showed 'Ontario' as the caller and my first thought was "maybe its our agency calling to tell us we have a date to be in Russia". And this only a few days after being registered - I can only imagine how crazy I'll be in 9 months! Anyways, finally being registered is GOOD NEWS! I am certainly happy not to have paperwork to do at present, or to be waiting 'endlessly' for documents from the AB gov't. Now we wait for Russia, and that's one step closer than where we were a week ago!
*Hunting & Gathering (the stage where you are gathering all the paperwork to make up your dossier)
*Paperwork Pregnant (paperwork done, registered in region and waiting for a referral)
*Something Related to Starbucks (have travel dates to meet child(ren), or are in between trips)
*Graduate/Gottcha (court done and you have your child(ren))
It feels like we were 'hunting & gathering' forever, and I am tickled to be moving on to the next category. Now we wait for 'the call' telling us we have an appointment in Russia. When people say they waited 6 months for a referral, that means that they waited 6 months from when they were registered in region. We have friends who also are adopting from Russia (different region than us) who just waited only two months... I only hope things will go like that for us, but not likely.
Again, I think this stage...actually all stages, are tough. A telemarketer called the other day and the phone showed 'Ontario' as the caller and my first thought was "maybe its our agency calling to tell us we have a date to be in Russia". And this only a few days after being registered - I can only imagine how crazy I'll be in 9 months! Anyways, finally being registered is GOOD NEWS! I am certainly happy not to have paperwork to do at present, or to be waiting 'endlessly' for documents from the AB gov't. Now we wait for Russia, and that's one step closer than where we were a week ago!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Name Game
This Zylstra household is all sick with a nasty cold so today's post will be short due to lack of brain cell activity!
As few may know, Aaron and I have a hard time with naming our children. Ever since I was pregnant with my first child I have been reading movie credits for name ideas. With only one of our children did we actually have a name picked out for them before they were born, and even then only if they were a girl. When we do get to Russia and accept a referral, we have to rename our children right then. That means that we have to be prepared with FOUR names since we could get two boys, two girls, or one of each. YIKES!!! We do have the option of keeping their name, but I don't think we will since I think I want them to have an 'american' name. It is much more likely that I will use their birth name as their middle name. Or maybe they will have two middle names, one their birth name and one we choose? I just really don't like stuff like 'Sasha' for a boy! I guess things may depend a little on the situation too...like if they were named by their birth mother, or just by the hospital which uses a 'letter of the month' system to name babies. Either way I want to be prepared with a minimum of two girl first names and two boy first names. So....HELP PLEASE! If you have any name suggestions that you don't mind us using, hit the comment link below and tell me! Maybe I'll have to come up with a prize for suggesting a name that we end up using...like a matroyshka doll from Russia (they are the nesting dolls made of wood).
As few may know, Aaron and I have a hard time with naming our children. Ever since I was pregnant with my first child I have been reading movie credits for name ideas. With only one of our children did we actually have a name picked out for them before they were born, and even then only if they were a girl. When we do get to Russia and accept a referral, we have to rename our children right then. That means that we have to be prepared with FOUR names since we could get two boys, two girls, or one of each. YIKES!!! We do have the option of keeping their name, but I don't think we will since I think I want them to have an 'american' name. It is much more likely that I will use their birth name as their middle name. Or maybe they will have two middle names, one their birth name and one we choose? I just really don't like stuff like 'Sasha' for a boy! I guess things may depend a little on the situation too...like if they were named by their birth mother, or just by the hospital which uses a 'letter of the month' system to name babies. Either way I want to be prepared with a minimum of two girl first names and two boy first names. So....HELP PLEASE! If you have any name suggestions that you don't mind us using, hit the comment link below and tell me! Maybe I'll have to come up with a prize for suggesting a name that we end up using...like a matroyshka doll from Russia (they are the nesting dolls made of wood).
Monday, February 22, 2010
$$ and Stewardship
I found it very interesting today that our Pastor's sermon focused on stewardship, since this post was to be about the financial part of adopting internationally. I was very encouraged and I felt another affirmation that we are doing as we should.
When Aaron and I first considered international adoption we knew that there would be a 'cost' but really didn't know what that would be. It didn't matter. We felt that this was what God was leading us to do, and that He was pointing us to Russia. So the decision to adopt two children from Russia was made before we even knew what it would cost. We had spent a few years with the goal/desire to buy a $10,000 tractor - to which the money never materialized...and now we found out that our adoption was going to cost approximately $70,000. "Well that's sucky!" and "How in the world is that going to happen?" came to mind, but never did we reconsider adopting. I knew that God was going to make it happen because I couldn't dream of how we possibly could...and then I wondered if that is exactly why He led us to Russia. If we were adopting from a country where it would only cost $15,000 or so I know that I would have worked at figuring out how WE were going to save and make it happen. This way we had to step out in faith, trusting Him.
I know what many of you are thinking..."Did she say $70,000? Are they crazy? Maybe a typo?". Nope! Let me put this in perspective - I know many people who have spent that much on a truck or tractor! We are definitely getting an infinitely greater blessing - times 2! I also don't want to scare anyone away from adopting - as far as I have seen Russia is the most expensive, plus we are doing two at once which increases the cost a bit. Adopting one child from Haiti is approximately $18000, from China approximately $22000, from Ethopia approximately $25000, from the US starting at about $25000 and up depending on race, and from Russia approximately $45000, and there are so many more countries that I don't know about.
Where is all that $70,000 going?
-Some of it on gathering required documents (medical, police, psychological, immigration, passports, etc) approx $1,000
-Intn'l Adoption Course and Homestudy report done by a social worker, appr. $2,500
-Legalizing, translating, and courier fees for documents, appr. $8,600
-Agency fees, appr. $35,000 (would be $20,000 if we were doing one child)...ya, this one I wonder a bit about. They do all the co-ordinating in Canada and in Russia, like making sure that you have a driver, translator, and doctor (to check the children) in Russia. They help with visas and then recommend stuff like accommodations and travel agents. There is no getting around this fee - Russia requires that you use an 'accreditted' agency, which there are only 3 of in all of Canada...so not much for competitive pricing!
-6 round trip airline tickets to Russia and 2 one-ways for the children, appr. $10,500
-about 30 days accommodations and meals in Russia, appr. $4,500
-8 doctor medical exam in Russia (for us), appr. $1,600
-Orphanage donation for caring for 2 children, appr. $10,000
-4 Post-placement reports done by social worker, translated and couriered, appr. $4,500
...and I am hoping to save a little here and there, which would bring us back down to $70,000!
So how are we doing financially? Really good of course because God is faithful! We have now paid almost $22,000 in expenses, and have another $5,000 saved. We applied for the only international adoption grant for Canadians that we know of, 'Orphan's Hope'...which the ab gov't told us not to count on because it is like a lottery...and were chosen to receive it - a nice $10,000 to go towards agency and travel costs! I am hoping to fund-raise the $10,000 orphange donation - which would leave only another $23,000 to go! Yes that is exciting to me!
Back to a few of Pastor's sermon points on stewardship:
-'Our goal should be to prove God's faithfulness'. In regards to giving to God faithfully Malachi 3:10 says "Test me in this," says the Lord Almighty, " and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it."
-'We must recognize that God is the owner of it all'
-'Because we are blessed we need to be a blessing to others'
Enough said :)
When Aaron and I first considered international adoption we knew that there would be a 'cost' but really didn't know what that would be. It didn't matter. We felt that this was what God was leading us to do, and that He was pointing us to Russia. So the decision to adopt two children from Russia was made before we even knew what it would cost. We had spent a few years with the goal/desire to buy a $10,000 tractor - to which the money never materialized...and now we found out that our adoption was going to cost approximately $70,000. "Well that's sucky!" and "How in the world is that going to happen?" came to mind, but never did we reconsider adopting. I knew that God was going to make it happen because I couldn't dream of how we possibly could...and then I wondered if that is exactly why He led us to Russia. If we were adopting from a country where it would only cost $15,000 or so I know that I would have worked at figuring out how WE were going to save and make it happen. This way we had to step out in faith, trusting Him.
I know what many of you are thinking..."Did she say $70,000? Are they crazy? Maybe a typo?". Nope! Let me put this in perspective - I know many people who have spent that much on a truck or tractor! We are definitely getting an infinitely greater blessing - times 2! I also don't want to scare anyone away from adopting - as far as I have seen Russia is the most expensive, plus we are doing two at once which increases the cost a bit. Adopting one child from Haiti is approximately $18000, from China approximately $22000, from Ethopia approximately $25000, from the US starting at about $25000 and up depending on race, and from Russia approximately $45000, and there are so many more countries that I don't know about.
Where is all that $70,000 going?
-Some of it on gathering required documents (medical, police, psychological, immigration, passports, etc) approx $1,000
-Intn'l Adoption Course and Homestudy report done by a social worker, appr. $2,500
-Legalizing, translating, and courier fees for documents, appr. $8,600
-Agency fees, appr. $35,000 (would be $20,000 if we were doing one child)...ya, this one I wonder a bit about. They do all the co-ordinating in Canada and in Russia, like making sure that you have a driver, translator, and doctor (to check the children) in Russia. They help with visas and then recommend stuff like accommodations and travel agents. There is no getting around this fee - Russia requires that you use an 'accreditted' agency, which there are only 3 of in all of Canada...so not much for competitive pricing!
-6 round trip airline tickets to Russia and 2 one-ways for the children, appr. $10,500
-about 30 days accommodations and meals in Russia, appr. $4,500
-8 doctor medical exam in Russia (for us), appr. $1,600
-Orphanage donation for caring for 2 children, appr. $10,000
-4 Post-placement reports done by social worker, translated and couriered, appr. $4,500
...and I am hoping to save a little here and there, which would bring us back down to $70,000!
So how are we doing financially? Really good of course because God is faithful! We have now paid almost $22,000 in expenses, and have another $5,000 saved. We applied for the only international adoption grant for Canadians that we know of, 'Orphan's Hope'...which the ab gov't told us not to count on because it is like a lottery...and were chosen to receive it - a nice $10,000 to go towards agency and travel costs! I am hoping to fund-raise the $10,000 orphange donation - which would leave only another $23,000 to go! Yes that is exciting to me!
Back to a few of Pastor's sermon points on stewardship:
-'Our goal should be to prove God's faithfulness'. In regards to giving to God faithfully Malachi 3:10 says "Test me in this," says the Lord Almighty, " and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it."
-'We must recognize that God is the owner of it all'
-'Because we are blessed we need to be a blessing to others'
Enough said :)
Monday, February 15, 2010
Hab 2:3 & More
Around the beginning of December I came across a verse that really spoke to me, Hab 2:3. This has become my 'adoption verse' and I have it at the top of my blog page. God has lead us down this path. He has revealed to us that this is His plan for our family. The verse says "For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Thought it linger wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay." ...appointed time, will not prove false, wait for it, certainly come, will not delay...His time, His time, HIS TIME! I am able to breath easier everytime I read it. He is in control, not the ab gov't, the Russian officials, the judge. The time IS coming! Whew!
This week on my favorite chat group I came across the following and really loved it. To some of you it may not mean a whole lot, to others it will definitely ring a bell. Again, it may give those who haven't walked this road a glimpse of my heart. Or maybe you will connect with many of these and think "I wonder if I should...?" (The answer is yes by the way!)
YOU KNOW YOUR AN ADOPTIVE PARENT IF...
1. The fact that there are 143million children without a parent to kiss them goodnight has made you lose sleep.
2. You realize DNA has nothing to do with love and family.
3. You can't watch Adoption Stories on TLC without sobbing.
4. The fact that, if 7% of Christians adopted 1 child there would be no orphans in the world, is convicting to you. (It is actually unfathomable to me...to those whom He has adopted -Christians- He tells numerous times to care for the fatherless...and if only 7% welcomed one child into their family...wow!)
5. You spend free time surfing blogs about families who've experienced the blessing of adoption.
6. It drives you crazy when people ask you about adopted child's "real" parents. (Ask any five year old what a "real" mom does and they will tell you things like loves, kisses, bathes, reads, feeds... I will be these children's "real" mom. I am actually not all that hung up on proper terminology, unless someone is not being sensitive infront of my children.)
7. You've been "pregnant" with your adoptive child longer than it takes an elephant to give birth. (That is almost 2 years.)
8. You'd no idea how you'd afford to adopt, but stepped out in faith anyways, knowing He'd provide. (I think I might post about that next week...)
9. You've taken an airplane half-way around the world with a child you just met.
10. You believe in God's heart for adoption.
11. You realize that welcoming a child into your heart and family is one of the most important legacies you could ever leave on this earth.
12. You know what the word "Dossier" means and you can actually pronounce it correctly!
13. You've welcomed a social worker into the most private parts of your life.
14. You shudder when people say your child's so lucky that you adopted them, knowing full well you're the blessed one to have him or her in your life.
This week on my favorite chat group I came across the following and really loved it. To some of you it may not mean a whole lot, to others it will definitely ring a bell. Again, it may give those who haven't walked this road a glimpse of my heart. Or maybe you will connect with many of these and think "I wonder if I should...?" (The answer is yes by the way!)
YOU KNOW YOUR AN ADOPTIVE PARENT IF...
1. The fact that there are 143million children without a parent to kiss them goodnight has made you lose sleep.
2. You realize DNA has nothing to do with love and family.
3. You can't watch Adoption Stories on TLC without sobbing.
4. The fact that, if 7% of Christians adopted 1 child there would be no orphans in the world, is convicting to you. (It is actually unfathomable to me...to those whom He has adopted -Christians- He tells numerous times to care for the fatherless...and if only 7% welcomed one child into their family...wow!)
5. You spend free time surfing blogs about families who've experienced the blessing of adoption.
6. It drives you crazy when people ask you about adopted child's "real" parents. (Ask any five year old what a "real" mom does and they will tell you things like loves, kisses, bathes, reads, feeds... I will be these children's "real" mom. I am actually not all that hung up on proper terminology, unless someone is not being sensitive infront of my children.)
7. You've been "pregnant" with your adoptive child longer than it takes an elephant to give birth. (That is almost 2 years.)
8. You'd no idea how you'd afford to adopt, but stepped out in faith anyways, knowing He'd provide. (I think I might post about that next week...)
9. You've taken an airplane half-way around the world with a child you just met.
10. You believe in God's heart for adoption.
11. You realize that welcoming a child into your heart and family is one of the most important legacies you could ever leave on this earth.
12. You know what the word "Dossier" means and you can actually pronounce it correctly!
13. You've welcomed a social worker into the most private parts of your life.
14. You shudder when people say your child's so lucky that you adopted them, knowing full well you're the blessed one to have him or her in your life.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
To Melt Your Heart
The questions that I have been asked the most lately are all about the specifics of the children to be joining our family. So to fill everyone in - we have requested a sibling group of 2 children, of any gender combination, 30 months or younger. The absolute youngest that we would have a child proposed to us is a 6 month old since all children have to be on the 'registry' for six months available only to Russians before they are open to being adopted internationally. Then you still have to wait for your court date and then do the additional paperwork, so it would be about another 4 months before homecoming. The registry I mentioned is online at http://www.usynovite.ru/db but unless you know Russian or can use a website translator, it will be very hard for you to maneuver through. So...to melt your heart, I have included a few of the pictures of children born in 2008 or 2009 that are available for adoption in our chosen region and that are part of a sibling group. Who their sibling(s) is(are) and how old the sibling is can not be determined from this database. These are not just pictures, these are real babies in an orphange far away who are waiting for a mom & dad...maybe one of the darlings below God has choosen to soon bless our family...
Sunday, January 31, 2010
The Russian Process
Again, I am not a patient person - but really how many people like to wait for things, especially wonderful things? I endure the wait because I know of the wonderful things to come. So here we are, almost another year gone, still in the paperwork stage. I see the light at the end of the tunnel though and we should soon be registered in Russia - then we wait some more! Since we are adopting two children our agency can't even guess how long we will wait before getting 'the call'. The call is the invitation to travel to Russia. Once there we will receive a 'referral' which is information on the children they are presenting to us. Normally, for adopting a single child this wait is around 6-9months. I hope it will be much sooner but know we could wait much longer. It is a hard time too because you have to be ready to travel on a moment's notice. That means I have to get the stuff I want to take to leave with the children ready now...which is a lot of fun, but I know the longer we have to wait the harder it will be to have that stuff around.
So, once we have travelled to Russia, met the children, and gotten them checked by a doctor, we either accept or decline the referral. If we were to decline, which I certainly hope and pray that we won't have to, the Russian officials are suppose to try to find us another referral right away while we are still in Russia. Once we accept a referral we come back to Canada and wait for a court date, usually 2-3months. We then travel back to Russia for court where a judge approves the adoption. With any ruling in Russia there is a 10 day appeal period (which may be calendar days or business days depending on what region you are in). During this time we will not have custody of the children so are planning on coming back to Canada - otherwise we will be away from our three children here for a month. I, along with a globe-trotting friend, will then travel back to Russia a third time to get the children, finish up the paperwork, obtain immigration stuff, and then finally bring everyone home! It will be a crazy busy and emotional time...but I soooo look forward to it!
So, once we have travelled to Russia, met the children, and gotten them checked by a doctor, we either accept or decline the referral. If we were to decline, which I certainly hope and pray that we won't have to, the Russian officials are suppose to try to find us another referral right away while we are still in Russia. Once we accept a referral we come back to Canada and wait for a court date, usually 2-3months. We then travel back to Russia for court where a judge approves the adoption. With any ruling in Russia there is a 10 day appeal period (which may be calendar days or business days depending on what region you are in). During this time we will not have custody of the children so are planning on coming back to Canada - otherwise we will be away from our three children here for a month. I, along with a globe-trotting friend, will then travel back to Russia a third time to get the children, finish up the paperwork, obtain immigration stuff, and then finally bring everyone home! It will be a crazy busy and emotional time...but I soooo look forward to it!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
And a Year Goes By
Argh! I am really bad at this waiting thing. As I read the two journal entries that I am now posting, written a year apart from each other, I could have been writing them today. Same feelings, same thoughts, same prayers, and same conclusion - I HAVE to wait, so I might as well trust Him with it.
"April 4th, 2008
What to say? Thankfully I feel like I am understanding what needs to get done. We have started quite a bit of the paperwork and processes but everything takes so long! I know it feels that way with a pregnancy too but atleast then you have a pretty accurate date of arrival. Part of me can't wait to have all the paperwork done and in Russia where all you have to do is wait for a proposal of the children - but that part is sure to be a very trying part too because all you can do is wait. I am thankful that so far the steps have not been as hard as I thought they would be - and I'm sleeping better for the most part.
I wonder what you look like - if you are born yet. I pray that you will be in good health and that someone will love you until I can bring you home."
"April 8th, 2009
Its been over a year now and we are finally nearing the end of the paperwork stage - I hope! This whole process has been 2 steps forward, 1 step back. I'm not so good with the steps back. It is very frustrating to think that all the paperwork is almost done, and then find out that some needs to be re-done and even more is required. It is hard seeing how slowly things are coming together too - I have to cling to knowing that God's timing is perfect, unlike my own!
I still wonder if the two of you have even been born yet. I hope God will 'whisper' it to me. I pray that your birth-mother will love you and take care of you as you grow inside her. I long to touch and hold you, but for now I will rest in Him and wait."
"April 4th, 2008
What to say? Thankfully I feel like I am understanding what needs to get done. We have started quite a bit of the paperwork and processes but everything takes so long! I know it feels that way with a pregnancy too but atleast then you have a pretty accurate date of arrival. Part of me can't wait to have all the paperwork done and in Russia where all you have to do is wait for a proposal of the children - but that part is sure to be a very trying part too because all you can do is wait. I am thankful that so far the steps have not been as hard as I thought they would be - and I'm sleeping better for the most part.
I wonder what you look like - if you are born yet. I pray that you will be in good health and that someone will love you until I can bring you home."
"April 8th, 2009
Its been over a year now and we are finally nearing the end of the paperwork stage - I hope! This whole process has been 2 steps forward, 1 step back. I'm not so good with the steps back. It is very frustrating to think that all the paperwork is almost done, and then find out that some needs to be re-done and even more is required. It is hard seeing how slowly things are coming together too - I have to cling to knowing that God's timing is perfect, unlike my own!
I still wonder if the two of you have even been born yet. I hope God will 'whisper' it to me. I pray that your birth-mother will love you and take care of you as you grow inside her. I long to touch and hold you, but for now I will rest in Him and wait."
Sunday, January 17, 2010
A Glimpse of the Mountain
Here is the next of my journal entries:
"March 13th, 2008
A lot has happenned over the past week - so much so that I'm feeling burnt out. A few prayers have been answered, and so many more spoken. Firstly, and easily, Aaron's heart on this issue soon followed my own. We've decided to adopt right now - that is to get started on it right now. I've been researching and emailing, gathering as much information as I can. Anytime my mind is quieted - which is basically when I'm lying in bed at night - my thoughts become consumed with this and I can't sleep. Not good. But these times have also included times with God. A few nights ago I asked Him if this is really what He wants us to do, or if this is just what I want. He answered me immediately - that it is what He has had planned. It was so clear. These past few days I have already needed to cling to that. The more I find out about the whole process and costs, the higher the mountain seems. I know that He will bless our obedience - and that this will only happen through Him. I'm feeling drained and discouraged and we've only barely begun. I wish I could jump past all this to the end where I get to look back and see how faithful God was in making the pieces fall into place and bringing us through. I find it very hard to take blind steps trusting that I will land on solid ground - especially when it comes to our finances. I think I will just make it my daily goal to trust Him in this each new day. I know this will be a time of growth for me, and be a testimony of God's faithfulness that I will be able to share with my children as they age. I am thankful, and I certainly anticipate the arrival of the children He has for us."
"March 13th, 2008
A lot has happenned over the past week - so much so that I'm feeling burnt out. A few prayers have been answered, and so many more spoken. Firstly, and easily, Aaron's heart on this issue soon followed my own. We've decided to adopt right now - that is to get started on it right now. I've been researching and emailing, gathering as much information as I can. Anytime my mind is quieted - which is basically when I'm lying in bed at night - my thoughts become consumed with this and I can't sleep. Not good. But these times have also included times with God. A few nights ago I asked Him if this is really what He wants us to do, or if this is just what I want. He answered me immediately - that it is what He has had planned. It was so clear. These past few days I have already needed to cling to that. The more I find out about the whole process and costs, the higher the mountain seems. I know that He will bless our obedience - and that this will only happen through Him. I'm feeling drained and discouraged and we've only barely begun. I wish I could jump past all this to the end where I get to look back and see how faithful God was in making the pieces fall into place and bringing us through. I find it very hard to take blind steps trusting that I will land on solid ground - especially when it comes to our finances. I think I will just make it my daily goal to trust Him in this each new day. I know this will be a time of growth for me, and be a testimony of God's faithfulness that I will be able to share with my children as they age. I am thankful, and I certainly anticipate the arrival of the children He has for us."
Sunday, January 10, 2010
First Thoughts
I figured it would be best to start this blog with a journal entry from what feels like so long ago. Although most of you have just found out about our decision to adopt, we have actually been in the process for 22mths now. I hope to weekly add to this blog by slowly bringing all of you up to date at where we are at, and by answering any question/comments you post...and please feel free to ask!
"March 5th, 2008
The last few weeks I've really felt like it was time to give this whole adoption thing some serious thought. I didn't feel ready to adopt now, but figured that if it was something that we may want to do in 3-5 years we should decide now because it could take that long.
My first feelings were mostly fear-doubt-inadequacy. Fear about whether we could handle it all - the whole huge process - the huge financial cost. Feeling inadequate to deal with the emotional problems the children could come with. Could I love children that were adopted like I love my own? Then it all went away. They would be my own - chosen by God for me to love and raise just like He chose Emily-Cameron-Alexis for me. The cost - God will provide.
My first thoughts - to adopt siblings(2) from the Ukraine - I'm not sure why - possibly because that is my heritage on my mother's side. I looked into it a little on the internet and found that it is really hard to adopt from there. You get no say on age-health-anything, and you have to stay there for 3 months. I can't do that. A few countries were then suggested to me - Russia stuck out. I explored on the internet tonight to see what info I could find - what I found astonished and pierced me. 200,000 children up for adoption. 7,000 adopted per year domestically. 7,000 adopted per year internationally. What horrible odds. A definite need. Things look more promising in regards to their laws too - but still so complicated. I then found a website (in Russian of course) that was suppose to have pics and profiles of the available children. After clicking a few links and buttons, pictures of children started to appear. The only thing I could understand was the year in each profile - they don't even have the same alphabet! I then figured out how to search by year of birth, so I did a search for '2007' just to see. Pictures of babies started to appear 15 per page. My throat tightened as I saw them - so real, so beautiful, with no family, no mom. The horribly high numbers now meant so much more. I scanned page after page wondering how many more there were. I found a button that jumped by 10 pages...that many! I clicked another button - thinking it was probably just the 'next page' button but it took me to the last page. Page 294. 15 babies on each page. All just from 2007. I cried. How could I wait years when there are so many now? All feelings of fear-doubt-and especially inadequacy are gone. Those children have no hope. I have enough clothing, food, and love to help at very least some of them. Its time for me to start climbing the mountain before me. I think the first steps may be the hardest for me - and I pray God helps me with them - convincing my husband."
"March 5th, 2008
The last few weeks I've really felt like it was time to give this whole adoption thing some serious thought. I didn't feel ready to adopt now, but figured that if it was something that we may want to do in 3-5 years we should decide now because it could take that long.
My first feelings were mostly fear-doubt-inadequacy. Fear about whether we could handle it all - the whole huge process - the huge financial cost. Feeling inadequate to deal with the emotional problems the children could come with. Could I love children that were adopted like I love my own? Then it all went away. They would be my own - chosen by God for me to love and raise just like He chose Emily-Cameron-Alexis for me. The cost - God will provide.
My first thoughts - to adopt siblings(2) from the Ukraine - I'm not sure why - possibly because that is my heritage on my mother's side. I looked into it a little on the internet and found that it is really hard to adopt from there. You get no say on age-health-anything, and you have to stay there for 3 months. I can't do that. A few countries were then suggested to me - Russia stuck out. I explored on the internet tonight to see what info I could find - what I found astonished and pierced me. 200,000 children up for adoption. 7,000 adopted per year domestically. 7,000 adopted per year internationally. What horrible odds. A definite need. Things look more promising in regards to their laws too - but still so complicated. I then found a website (in Russian of course) that was suppose to have pics and profiles of the available children. After clicking a few links and buttons, pictures of children started to appear. The only thing I could understand was the year in each profile - they don't even have the same alphabet! I then figured out how to search by year of birth, so I did a search for '2007' just to see. Pictures of babies started to appear 15 per page. My throat tightened as I saw them - so real, so beautiful, with no family, no mom. The horribly high numbers now meant so much more. I scanned page after page wondering how many more there were. I found a button that jumped by 10 pages...that many! I clicked another button - thinking it was probably just the 'next page' button but it took me to the last page. Page 294. 15 babies on each page. All just from 2007. I cried. How could I wait years when there are so many now? All feelings of fear-doubt-and especially inadequacy are gone. Those children have no hope. I have enough clothing, food, and love to help at very least some of them. Its time for me to start climbing the mountain before me. I think the first steps may be the hardest for me - and I pray God helps me with them - convincing my husband."
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