Honeymoon?

According to one adoption book I have, there are usually four stages a child goes through when they are adopted. She doesn't say how long each lasts, just lists the stages as follows: honeymoon period, time of struggle, jockeying for positions in new family, and then moving on to working relationships.

Well, I would guess that Alexander and Carter's honeymoon period lasted the car ride to the airport from the orphanage. Seriously, you can ask Beth! Their behaviour in Moscow was definitely not a 'honeymoon', it was a huge time of testing to see what they could get away with - but Alexander especially didn't leave it at that, he had to test the same thing about a dozen times a day (no exaggerating). Since coming home though their behaviours have becoming more 'normal'? Are we at a time of jockeying for position - maybe. Alexander and Cameron have rough-housed a few times, always ending with Alexander upset. Alexander and Alexis have also gotten to the point of fists flying a time or two. But, for the most part there really is peace between the children.

Now on to Eli. I think with him we have had a honeymoon period. He was very easy in Moscow, through most the flights, and here at home. But I am wondering now if that time has ended. I am now seeing him mad at times, usually when he wants me to pick him up and I don't, and he responds by sulking and hitting things. Today when I set him down after getting him up from his nap he got mad, started sulking, and then walked over to the bookshelf and hit a bunch of books to the floor. After that he took to hitting the wall he was standing beside - which is when I stepped in and sat him on the couch for a 'time-out'. After crying a bit and smacking his own legs a few times he mellowed out and started to play.

Medical stuff - STILL waiting for results for parasites. Glasses picked out for Eli and should be here in about a week. Eli and Carter's teeth are okay for now. Alexander though needs two pulled (already missing two as well), a couple fillings, and a whole bunch capped. Estimate of $3500, hoping most will be covered by insurance but haven't had a chance to look into it.

English still seems to be coming at a snail's pace. Russian almost always comes out of Alexander's mouth first and then the odd time he will correct himself and say the English (kind of like the others remembering to say please!). Most often we still remind him to use the few English words we've taught him. Comprehension is still improving though. At least all the kids seem to have finally learnt each other's names rather than Alexander calling out 'sister' or 'little boy' in Russian, or our bio's referring to 'the two-year kid' or 'the four-year kid'. I guess ages are easier to remember than names? Oh, and Carter had his appointment about his feet and things are fine enough for now. Hopefully will develop more of an arch (and balance) as he gets a little older.

Alexander (who loves music and instruments) now sings 'Jesus Loves Me' many times a day, with quite a few mis-pronounciations :) He sings on tune though very well for a four year old. So bedtime now gets two songs.

Carter is also now officially three years old, he just doesn't know it yet. His birthday was Monday the 21st, but we decided last minute NOT to have a birthday party for him yet since neither he (or Alexander) would understand what was going on. This way no jealousy issues, etc. I think a pool party is in order (after how much they love to play in the water at bathtime) in roughly a month or so.... and then we can combine it with Alexis's birthday as well since they are still young enough not to care about that. Now I will just need to find some people to help even out the kid-to-adult ratio!

Some after bath pics

So starting Monday February 28th Aaron is planning on going back to work 5 hours a day. This will allow for him to still take the kids outside in the afternoon for a bit of a playtime - a time of day I greatly cherish! (they like it too)

Outside pics from oldest to youngest

Eli stays inside - usually napping. Hanging out under the table or high chairs though is one of his favorite things, so I am including this pic.

That's all I can think of for an update. Now to write our ' 2010 Christmas letter'! Its usually late anyways, and this year I had a good excuse :)  Have a decent family photo to send with it too that Hope (our Pastor's wife) took, so I can introduce the boys to everyone who doesn't come here to see pics.

I'm Sorry, Okay!?

As much as I would love to fill everyone in on my travels, the boys, and share a bunch of pictures... it takes quite a bit of time to blog! I have pretty much been going to bed right after the boys too, so very little computer time. And as you will hear about in a moment, I have been busy with other essentials as well.

Okay - where to start? I think I will have to again skip out on our London and Moscow time for sake of keeping this post manageable. Maybe a few pictures though!

Eli and I checking out St. Basil's, Moscow

At the GUM - love the Ergo!

The boys having their first McDonalds!

Even Eli ate a whole burger!

So the flight home went as well as could be expected I guess. We needed to leave our Moscow apartment at 2:30am, and Eli was sick that night so I only got 1 1/2hrs of sleep before starting the trek home. I would say that the boys slept half of the plane ride time home and we would find something entertaining to pass our airport time (food, walks, toys, etc). So we arrived in Calgary just before 5pm February 10th (got home at 2:30am Feb 11th). Made it relatively quick through customs and then were welcomed by Beth's family and a Calgary adoptive family that brought their little girl home last summer from the same orphanage as the boys. It was very awesome and I am so thankful they were there, cheering and welcoming with some small gifts for the boys.... and to take some pictures since I was so 'out of it' to even remember to pull out my camera (that's what about 5hrs of sleep in over 2 days does to a person you know). It was a great way to commemorate the boys' arrival to Canada.

Sleeping on the plane

Welcome to CANADA! (Calgary)

The first couple days home I was pretty much a wreck. My body was rebelling in every way, much resembling how I felt our first trip to Russia - except then the only thing I had to manage in a day was to go to the orphanage twice for about 1 1/2hrs each. All I wanted to do was sleep, cried when I was awake, and couldn't eat. My goal for day 2 home was to simply make lunch and supper. Day 3 I went to church with Emily, Cameron, Alexis, and Eli because I just felt I needed too. And it was wonderful - just feeling the support of our church family was strengthening. Aaron stayed home with Carter and Alexander because they simply weren't ready for a big group setting.

Day 4, Monday, I was finally feeling back to myself and things seemed manageable again. We had a doctor's appointment for the boys. Most things looked well, just will have to see an occupational therapist regarding Carter's one foot. And had to take stool samples to check for parasites - quite yucky, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Haven't gotten the results back yet but the boys for sure have pinworms so decided to treat for that tonight rather than make them wait another week. Good thing I have the meds on hand since it is what I use for deworming puppies! The boys are quite itchy and I don't need it to spread to everyone else...

Tuesday I finally managed to do laundry! Wednesday I went through the nine boxes of boy clothes I had and picked out about 14 outfits for each, then put back away three boxes of summer clothes. Thursday it was off to the optometrists. Eli will need to have eye surgery in Edmonton in order to correct his left eye which crosses inward. Until then he will need to have glasses, so we will pick those out next Wednesday when we are in Grande Prairie seeing the dentist. I am certain we will have many follow-up dental trips too since Alexanders teeth are all rotten, even the big ones in the back - and I am sure that Carter and Eli will need filling as well. Good thing God gives us two sets!

And that bring us to today and me finally managing to stay up and blog since my husband let me sleep in this morning with Emily having no school.

Overall the boys are doing very well. They appear to do just fine when we have to go out to appointments and detour from our home routine. Everyone is now also sleeping well in their own beds. I slept on the floor the first two night with Eli in Alexander and Carter's room, but neither Eli or I would sleep all that well. The third day I decided to introduce Eli to his crib and he is doing wonderfully. The only problem we initially had was with Alexander in that he would wake up and get out of bed in the middle of the night - so after getting in trouble for that two nights in a row he is now sleeping through the night.

English is coming along slower than I expected it would. Alexander and Carter speak Russian all day to each other, so don't try so hard to communicate in English with everyone else. We make them say some words in English like 'come, more, water, please, look, up, and help' and Alexander is just now trying to use them without being prompted, but Carter only parrots what we tell him to say. Alexander is doing well with understanding us with a little charades to help, but Carter usually has no clue. Carter also starts to cry whenever someone sits down at the supper table or gets ready to go outside before him - like he thinks if he is not first he will be left out all together. Alexander is starting to eat a little slower too (from absolutely wolfing his food down disgustingly) and we make him wait at the table when he is done eating while the rest of us atleast near finishing. I thought I would have more of a problem with the boys having to wait while I prepare food (since they never saw food being prepared at the orphanage) but that too is going fine. They will come check out what I am doing, but know it is coming soon enough. Oh, and while I am talking about eating - what messy eaters! I mostly feed Eli, or give him simply things to feed himself - but the other two, yuck! We have now switched to putting Carter in a highchair, and it is tempting to do the same with Alexander. Also have switched to using sippy cups all the time with them (after repeated spills by Alexander) until they can understand English and learn how to be more careful. Good thing Cameron and Alexis love to vacuum!

As for interacting with Emily, Cameron, and Alexis - things there too are going really well. They all like to play with each other for a while, and then separate out at times too. We haven't really had any jealously issues and Emily actually told me that it was more fun with the boys than she expected it would be. We are limitting 'the boys' to upstairs in our house so they haven't been in Emily & Alexis's room, and have also made Cameron's room off limits so he still has a place to play lego, etc. At times Emily and Alexis also camp out in Cameron's room to play something without the boys. Until they learn English I have decided to exclude them from some things (like going downstairs or playing lego) so that I can instruct them on what they can and can't do and know they understand. It really is a full time job pretty much just watching what they are doing or getting into - and none of the boys are interested in TV at all, so no easy baby-sitting there either :)

We have now taken to bathing two kids a night each night except for Sundays. The first time I bathed Alexander and Carter (in Moscow), they were both really scared. I had the same response from Eli. I don't know how they were doing it in the orphanage, but however it was it had them all really scared. By the second bath Alexander and Carter no longer cried, and they now ask for a bath and play for an hour with ease. Eli too finally had his first bath tonight without crying and even played a little.

As for testing limits, Alexander has definitely eased up on that. He still doesn't obey at times, or tries to wait until we get up to make him obey (which he is finding out still counts as not obeying and gets a punishment). Both Alexander and Carter can be pretty whiny/throw tantrums at times too - like when they don't get a toy they want, etc., but are too learning that they are often rewarded with a 'punishment' for that too. The tantrums though have also lessened in intensity too - from throwing, banging heads, kicking, screaming, and biting things - to half heartedly throwing toys (which gets a negative response from us) or hitting a couch or the air.

So overall everything is going really well and it has only been 8 days home. In other ways it has been a really long 8 days. I have gone from going to bed usually at around midnight to averaging going to bed at 9:30-10ish. Having about one main task for the day is about all that I can manage to get done - and Aaron is still home! The luxury of personal time is pretty much gone, and Aaron and I were pondering tonight what things will be like in a few years when they are older and in school :)

As for prayer requests - learning English is pretty high on my list! Growing in attachment to us and making it past all of the doctors & dentist stuff with ease would be great too. And of course, the boys growing swiftly in their knowledge of God (we read a toddler bible every night but I don't think they understand a word of it yet - and sing 'Jesus loves Me' every night too since in Moscow but they mostly just giggle through it).

Gotcha Day & More

Seeing me off



Sorry for the silence! I have wanted to update more but before I left I was extremely busy – pulled another all-nighter getting ready. Then slept the first day in Russia. Even now it has taken two days to type everything below due to 3 little ones….Anyways, we picked up the boys on Feb 4th and I know that’s what you all want to hear about!

Picking up the boys

I didn’t sleep all that well the night before which made the day a bit harder. We were at the orphanage at 9:30am, handed over way too many clothes for them to dress the boys (seriously, like they needed three layers including a snowsuit and toque for the drive), and then waited as the fan-fare slowly gathered. Many of the workers came to see the boys off and take a few pictures. Then we were off – heading to the airport to fly to Moscow. Alexander puked near the end of the drive, other than that it was quite uneventful. We arrived at the airport with our driver, translator, two reps, Beth, myself, three boys, and about 200lbs of luggage. As you can imagine it took quite a while getting through the entrance security – especially when they had to keep looking in our luggage at stuff like camera’s and electric toothbrushes. Beth was fortunate enough to get a really good pat-down thanks to a USB stick she forgot she had in her pocket. Then fed the boys and received a bunch of ‘advice’ that I had no intention of following, like ‘don’t feed them any meat or cheese, don’t bother taking them to go pee since they are in a diaper, don’t brush there teeth until you are at home and they can see your other children do it’ – like seriously, I am going to make my four year old pee himself and not brush their teeth for a week!? No wonder Alexander’s teeth are so bad – they don’t brush them at all in the orphanage I believe. So through security came freedom! Plane ride was pretty sucky – boys didn’t understand why they had to stay in their seats and Eli peed on me. Everyone slept though for the ride to our apartment.

Carter checking out our 'wheels'

Ride to apartment

So life in our apartment is going pretty well. Alexander and Carter have for the most part figured out that I mean business when I say no. They play well together too most of the time – really seem pretty typical 2 & 4 year olds, but the language is still a barrier. And Eli is doing AMAZING! Happy, smiling, babbling, playing, sleeps through lots of noise, likes to be a real goof at mealtimes. Really, if there was only one it wouldn’t even be a challenge – but the three manage to keep Beth and I on our toes most the time. Nighttime isn’t going as well, but is going pretty much as I expected. Eli falls asleep easily laying beside one of us and then we move him to his playpen but then in the early hours of the morning he wakes up and insists on being held or to lay beside one of us. He is attaching well to me and I would be his first choice – however during the night I am more needed by the other two, especially Alexander. I need to first lay with them at bedtime until they fall asleep, although I think I have so far beaten them to it. I can then leave for a while, but it is guaranteed that Alexander will wake up in a couple hours scared if I am not there. So after two nights of me trying to sleep in my own bed near Eli’s playpen I have come to the conclusion that for now I need to just sleep with Alexander and Carter. They too are already showing attachment to me as well – they like Aunty, but in the middle of the night insist on mama.

Boys Playing

Going for groceries - helping Carter & Eli in ergo on my back

Oh so cute Eli

I think I will wrap up with that for now and tell more of our London and Moscow travels in a day or two.