Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Epiphany and Driving

Today we learned that it is a special day in Russia called Epiphany. From Wikapedia, “The Epiphany, celebrated in Russia on January 19, marks the baptism of Jesus in the (Jordan River). Believing that on this day water becomes holy and is imbued with special powers, Russians all over the country cut holes in the ice of lakes and rivers, often in the shape of the cross, to bathe in the freezing water. Participants in the ritual may dip themselves three times under the water, honoring the Holy Trinity, to symbolically wash away their sins from the past year, and to experience a sense of spiritual rebirth. Orthodox priests are on hand to bless the water, and rescuers are on hand to monitor the safety of the swimmers in the ice-cold water.” The way it was explained to us is that many people are ‘christened’ on this day with the belief that doing so will result in not getting sick. (I understood this as not getting sick ever, but Aaron understood it as not getting sick this day even though they are dipping themselves in freezing water. We’ll ask tomorrow.)


I also thought that I’d attempt to adequately describe what the driving we endure daily is like :). Aaron figures that this will be a hard task because in so many ways it is indescribable. Our daily trips have really went from scary to amusing though (once you get over the nauseousness of it all). It is like we are in a constant race – accelerate hard, break hard, accelerate hard, break hard – on a road with little or no marked lanes (not that people would follow the markers), and you get extra points for clipping other car mirrors or pedestrians! All cars start to accelerate (hard) at a red light moments before it turns green. The common car of choice is a Lada, which are adequate for medium-sized women, and quite narrow (needed in order to squeeze in a third lane to a two-laned street). So, picture Aaron squished in there every day. I have also learnt to keep my head pressed firmly against the back of my seat after having it hit the side window a couple times due to the bumps in the road excentuated by ice rutts on all the side streets. We also go through a high speed traffic circle every day, again with no lane markers-lights-or signage, that I think defies all logic in that we have yet to see an accident scene there (I seriously can not figure out how many lanes it is suppose to be). And to top it all off we get to listen to dirty dance music! I am not sure if Russian’s actually like that radio station or if our drivers have graciously choosen it because many of the songs are in English. But really, it is better that they don’t speak English because the words are very crude and embarrassing… althought it has been many years since I have had the ‘pleasure’ of listening to secular music so maybe that is what it is all like these days? Anyways, the whole driving ‘adventure’ is so absurd that it is quite entertaining!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Back to Russia

Well someone has been praying and I thank you very much! Would you believe that are bodies are on Russia time!? We arrived in Ufa yesterday at noon local time (again with all our luggage, hurray!) quite tired from all our travels. I slept a little on the drive to Sterlitamak, ate and showered at our hosts (wasn’t nauseous this time either) and then went for a ‘nap’. My plan was to only sleep a little since it was 4pm and I didn’t want to sleep too long and then not be able to at night. Well a short nap didn’t happen – I basically slept until supper, woke up more tired than I was originally, and then pretty much went straight to bed after eating. I woke up at 12:30am to go to the bathroom and thought ‘oh no, now I’ll be up all night’. Nope, went back to sleep quite easy and then did it again at 4am. I slept until 7:30am! So here I am just before supper and feeling fine! Last trip I was exhausted for at least the first two days and never did get on ‘Russia time’. Aaron did better than me with all the time changes last trip, but is doing even better this time too. Soooo great!
Today we did the usual two visits at the orphanage. The boys remembered us and we basically were back to where we left off after about 5 minutes. They are also consistently calling us ‘mama’ and ‘papa’. We were first treated by Alexander doing a dance for us with a little girl from his group. They did awesome – seriously, I was so amazed and am certain he dances better than I. They were also in costume and looked absolutely adorable – I can’t wait to post pictures! (I think I can after court?) Both Alexander and Carter also sang a Christmassy song for us too. All very cute!
The rest of the first visit had its ups and downs. Again the boys were often more interested in playing with the ‘new’ toys than with us at all. Also, telling them ‘no’ when they are misbehaving doesn’t bring any response from them because at this point there are basically no consequences to not listening to us. I did take a toy away from Carter since he insisted that it was for hitting Eli in the head. He responded by saying ‘Give! Give!’ over and over and having a mad fit on the floor for a few minutes, and then was back to his giggly self. The second visit though we were in that Sensory room, so brought no toys and had a blast with them. At the end of the time we were left for a couple minutes with Eli (usually they take him away first but Alexander and Carter left first this time) and he immediately seemed more comfortable. Aaron was ‘allowed’ to sit closer and talk a little to him (usually this would have him crying) and I had him almost laughing! He then walked with me holding his hand (absolutely refused to last trip). Although I knew Eli doesn’t know his older brothers, I hadn’t realized that he was actually so frightened by them too. It makes sense though since no one in his baby group would be so loud, active, and fast. So that too was great!
   
There have been a few changes since last time. Carter is talking sooooo much more and Eli is walking on his own! Great to see them developing more to where they should be for their age (although seeing Eli walk on his own for the first time would have been special too). They cut Eli’s hair short – not so crazy about that… We also have a new driver, which is too bad because I was looking forward to introducing the young handsome single one to Beth :)
I almost forgot about London! We had approximately 10hrs of time to spare between flights so we hopped on the ‘tube’ (‘mind the gap’) and walked around catching a bunch of sites in the city. We saw Buckingham Palace, the London Eye (closed for maintenance), Big Ben, and a few others. It was a balmy +12’C…about 35’ warmer than home. Russia however is exactly like home weather-wise, lots of snow and –20’C.

So, 4 more visits, court, and then home (I think). Then back to Russia…

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Getting Ready Again

First, I finally posted a few pics to go along with my previous post.... but unfortunately they aren't of the boys YET! We still need to wait until after court and the appeal period :(

Once again we are now in the middle of getting our visas and airline tickets, but thankfully not in such a rush. I am still not looking forward to all the travelling, being away from my three kiddos here, and jet-lag - but I am looking forward to getting it all done! The plan still is to head out around the 15th of January, then to start back home January 22nd after court. After about a week at home I will then head back to Russia with my friend Beth (Aaron staying home) when I will get custody of the boys. All five of us will then head to Moscow for a few days while we get their immigration stuff in order - and then the long trek home, finally!

I'm a little nervous about court in that I know we will be asked some hard questions...like how we are any different than the orphanage in having so many children, how we think we will manage with the addition of three children, etc. and being sure to remain respectful of 'Russia' while answering. While in Russia last time Aaron and I were talking with our driver and his friend who sort of knows english, and they just couldn't believe that we would have 6 children. They seemed to think that anything more than 2 or 3 is huge and practically unheard of. I am not really scared that the judge will not allow the adoption, simply because I am sure that this is God's plan for us and these three boys.

Once again, please pray with us over this all - that the boys will adjust well, that our three here will too, for our finances, and for comfort-strength-wisdom for Aaron and I during travelling-court-and in dealing with our new additions. Thanks so much!

...don't forget to take a quick look at the pictures in the previous post :)

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Trip 1, The Novel

Hello and sorry this is delayed in getting posted! I wish I could have shared sooner, but we basically had no internet connection while on our speedy trip. So here is all the details I wrote while away...hope you have time for the 'novel' :)

Nov 10th
Hello from Russia! So we made it through our two days of flights and layovers and even arrived with all our luggage! The flying was hard on us – hard to sleep on cramped planes, then we would sleep an hour and land, spend some time wandering through airports looking for a place to sleep (usually to no avail), etc. By the time we made it to our last two flights we were so exhausted it was now easy to sleep on the planes!

Along the way we had about a 10 hour layover in Amsterdam so Aaron and I hopped onto a train to go into the city and then went for a one hour boat tour. It was really nice, beautiful buildings, much more peaceful than being on the windy street – but so relaxing, and combined with our flights, Aaron could hardly stay awake. Most everyone seemed to speak English which was great, and the accents gave Aaron a sense of feeling ‘home’. I’m sure the ample supply of ‘droppies’ (a salty black licorice type of Dutch candy) helped!

We arrived in Ufa around noon Nov 9th and were greeting by our facilitator and translator. Immediately we headed to the Ministry of Education and officially received the referrals for the boys and therefore permission to visit them at the orphanage. Next we hopped back in the car and two hours later arrived in Sterlitamak. I will never again complain about how bumpy a Canadian road may be – the drive was a constant bump, it was truly unbelievable. We had a short stop at our hosts to unload our luggage and then were headed to the orphanage. We were shown into the music room, which is large and open, and then in came the boys. It is hard to even remember that evening we were so tired. The baby was very scared and cried almost non-stop – which didn’t bother me in that it is good for him to be scared of strangers at his age (just over a year). He is darling though and I wished I could comfort him. The other two boys are quite social and were happy to play with us and the toys we had brought. After a while our facilitator took the baby back to the caregivers and even though we could have stayed longer with the older two, we decided to leave because we were about to fall asleep on our feet. We got back to our host’s at around 5:30pm and immediately went to bed for the rest of the night, too tired to even eat.
Front of Orphanage

Being here has been extremely hard on our bodies. Even though we sleep reasonably well at night until around 4:30am, we are still very tired all the time and nap at every chance we get… not that there has even been much of a chance for that between meeting with doctors, notaries, and other officials. It is frustrating too that we feel this way, but understandable I guess in that we have undergone a 12 hour time change. I really though had no idea that it would be so hard. I’ve had our facilitator ask a couple times if I was alright or sad, when all it is is that I’m simply tired. It has actually done quite a number on my appetite too. I often feel a little nauseous, and even when I am hungry I eat a little and then often immediately feel nauseous again, which makes me lose my appetite even more.

Sterlitamak is a city that is approximately the size of Grande Prairie, but that is about its only similarity. It is FILLED with apartments. Many have stores on the bottom floor and then apartments on top. We really have not seen a single house. Most of them look very old and run down from the outside, but from what we have seen the insides look much better and have been up-kept. All the apartments have balconies that are completely closed in by windows. They are also all heated by hot-water radiators with no thermostats (if it gets too hot you just open a window) and Aaron and I have found it very hot in almost every building we have been in. We can’t imagine how we’d manage in summer months! Also, I’ve never seen so many tiny cars. We see a few vans and buses, but not a single pick-up. The driving is pretty crazy by our standards too, very fast and stop-go, and not pedestrian friendly. The ten minute drive to/from the orphanage is enough to leave us both feeling carsick. The weather though here is exactly what it is back home.

The orphanage is also not what I expected. Again, the outside of the building looks very run-down, but inside is very nice. There are approximately 70 children (I believe age 5 and down), but only about 12 that are currently ‘adoptable’. The children appear to be cared for very well. They have two doctors on staff, one for the older children and one for the toddlers and babies. Each year the children also under-go a very extensive check-up by many different specialists too. This is done for many reasons, one of which is to help parents feel comfortable with knowing their medical history and adopting them. The children also have music lessons, speech lessons, etc right in the orphanage. One room we get to sometimes play in is called the ‘sensory’ room and is very amazing. It has a large ball pit, big bean bags, soft things to climb and slide down, two columns filled with water that light up and have bubbles and balls floating around in them, some fiber optic cable that lights up and changes color, and a board with different textured items.

Unlike Europe, not many people speak English here, although it is more common with the younger generation. We have found the language to be a huge barrier, one I’ve never before experienced, and leaves us often feeling un-easy. It has also been a large barrier when we are with the boys too. For example, we will want to show them something about the toy they are playing with and they will think that we are trying to take it away. Also, the oldest one will try to tell us something and we simply won’t understand, or we will want to say something to them but just don’t know how. We are naturally drawn to people of our own language (our two favorite people here are the two who speak English), so it is harder to create a bond with the boys. We adore them (the middle one has such an adorable laugh you can’t help but love), but I think they mostly see us as someone that is fun to play with most of the time and especially like that we bring ‘new’ toys (which sometimes isn’t a good thing because they can get very wrapped up with playing with a toy and not with us, especially when they think we are going to take it away).

All in all, it is a very hard trip but for a VERY good reason. The other night I sadly told Aaron that I don’t think that I could do this again – he then reminded me that I said that very same thing shortly after giving birth to Emily. I think that is a very good analogy. We have had the long wait of a pregnancy, and now experience the fatigue and ‘pains’ of labour, but our reward is soon to come! And like having a newborn is also fatiguing and has a time of adjustment, we will go through that too once everyone is finally home!

Nov 12th
Last night our visit went well with the children. We thought we weren’t going to be able to visit with them since last minute we needed to go back to the notary’s to sign/fix more documents. But then, since the children had been expecting us, we were allowed to go see them for about 45 minutes. So with no toys in hand we showed up and were able to play in the sensory room. It worked very well and had more direct interaction. Even the baby, who we don’t get to see every time, didn’t cry! He was still scared though and just sat on my hip the whole time watching what was going on, not interacting with us though. We got to see him though once in his baby room interacting with some of his caregivers, playing with toys, and even giggling a couple times (which almost brought me to tears). He will do very well, I really think they all will, and think it won’t necessarily take as long as I originally thought to adjust to us and their new home. Yesterday morning we also got to see the oldest in his speech class – and the middle child started to cry because he hadn’t been told that he come with us, so the caregivers brought him in too. I think the oldest will definitely have the hardest time though – he is very smart, knows Russian well, and has his own personality and agenda. He often tries to tell us but we just can’t understand which is frustrating to him too. When we see him with his caregivers though he is very obedient and well behaved. The middle child is so easy going and just simply loves to have attention, he already seems so easy. And the youngest this morning didn’t cry again either. I tried to put him down once to have him walk while holding my hand, but he didn’t budge so I just ended up carrying him around until he fell asleep.

Anyways, just one more visit with the children tonight and then we start the plane ride back home tomorrow morning. Our bodies are actually feeling somewhat better now (still getting up at 4:30am though) – just in time for the big switch back. I can’t believe we’ve only been here four days, it feels more like 10. We haven’t been told a court date yet, but should know soon. I will be happy to get back home, but will be happier when it is with all our children.

Nov 15th
Back home, and with all our luggage! We got home at around 12:30am last night and about 20hours later things feel ‘normal’ again. The house is back to the way I like it, most of the laundry has been done, kids are fed and in bed, and I’m sitting on the computer – almost as if I hadn’t been gone!

We now have a court date for Jan 21st, so will be heading back sometime around Jan 14th. As much as I want the boys home now, I am happy with that date in that I don’t feel the huge rush to get visa’s/tickets again, etc. This also will give us a chance to get our renovations done and their rooms ready, as well as make it through the Christmas season and family get-togethers. I am sure it will pass quickly…

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Three Days to Lift-off

So I thought that I would be blogging more these past two weeks since there would be stuff to tell, but turns out that I have simply been so busy that I haven't had the chance!

The first week after finding out our travel date was a tough one. I feel that we were attacked over and over again BUT of course God's plan endures and at the end of the week we finally managed to get tickets booked, childcare in place, visas being processed, and a few puppies off to their new homes. The visas have been quite the struggle though - first our tourist visas were denied (although everyone travels their first trip on tourist visas). We then had to send them double the money for business visas, which were finally approved and mailed out yesterday ...so they should be arriving in Fairview tomorrow (Friday) with not a day to spare since we fly out on Sunday. Ya, a little stressful at times!

As I mentioned, we fly out Sunday (7th) morning and arrive Tuesday (9th) morning because of the change in time zones. Coming back, although just as much flight time, looks a lot better in that we leave Sunday (14th) morning and get back Sunday night. I find it kind of funny that we are flying on a dutch airline and have our layover in Amsterdam since Aaron's family is dutch in heritage and this will be Aaron's first time in Holland ...not sure though if he will get to see anything beyond the airport!

Now back to 'the list' for me... less than three days to go and lots yet to do.